Friday, August 11, 2017

“I was 18 years old, and he was 70 years old, a very prominent person in the community,” she said. “He brought me to his house, and he did something to me.” After pausing, she continued, “When he drove me home, he said, ‘Wow, the things you make me do…. ’ I told a domestic abuse organization about what happened, and they told me, ‘If you go to the police, you have nothing on him; no one will believe you, and he will bury you.’”

Rabinowitz is a survivor of sexual abuse herself — and a graduate of the ultra-Orthodox Bais Yaakov girls school system.
“Most people around me don’t acknowledge the fact that I was abused at all,” she told me in an interview. “I have close friends who don’t acknowledge it. My film trailer was the first time I said it publicly. I’m making this documentary for my friends and family to be able to say, ‘This is for you to know how to talk about it with me.’
“I know it’s hard for people to process. When someone says they were raped by a family member, you’ll never be able to understand what that feels like, but you do understand that basic feeling of shame and suffering. It’s by empathy — through art and music — that we can come to understand another’s pain, rather than through intellectual understanding.”
In her forthcoming film, shot mostly in Tel Aviv, Rabinowitz shows Goldenberg talking about her music and her dissociation, as she bounces between her Orthodox family and her artist friends, many of whom are also survivors of abuse.
“Don’t assume that people are normal and happy,” Rabinowitz said. “My friend and I went along the same path. We wore the same school uniform. I went home and I was abused. She went home and she wasn’t. We lived parallel lives, except mine was covered in soot. I looked the same, but I may not have acted the same. Understand that I was in an upside-down world.”
Her film, now in postproduction, is a window into this world of childhood trauma.
“Where I come from, it’s really stuffed under the rug, though it’s starting to change,” she said matter-of-factly. Her wide, blue eyes stared straight ahead. She cited the case of another young woman in her community who accused her father of molesting her. “The whole community shut her up; they told her to leave in silence, so she left for Israel,” Rabinowitz said. “People say, ‘She’s crazy’; no one believed her. Yeah, she’s crazy. If your father is lying on top of you every night, suffocating you and raping you, of course you’re crazy. When you survive abuse, there’s always someone else in your head. You see it in Yuval.”
Rabinowitz didn’t go into too much detail about her own story, but years of abuse, and her subsequent turn to substance abuse, landed her in Retorno, an Israeli religious drug rehab center. When she returned to the States, “straightened out” and “frum again,” her past as a vulnerable young woman continued to haunt her. When she was 18, a community member drove her home from an event and said he had to stop at his house to “get something,” inviting her in.
“I was 18 years old, and he was 70 years old, a very prominent person in the community,” she said. “He brought me to his house, and he did something to me.” After pausing, she continued, “When he drove me home, he said, ‘Wow, the things you make me do…. ’ I told a domestic abuse organization about what happened, and they told me, ‘If you go to the police, you have nothing on him; no one will believe you, and he will bury you.’”
That was the moment that she realized something needs to change. “I would be speaking to religious kids from different communities, from around the world, and everyone had a story, everyone knows someone who is affected by this,” she said. “We need everyone to finally be open and connect all those stories to make a difference.”
She rattles off harrowing story after story, name after name, with unnerving poise.
“My focus is not on the perpetrators. So instead I’ve turned to film to tell my story. My goal is to use Yuval’s story to de-stigmatize the issue of child sexual abuse. I hope to motivate people who have not experienced this trauma to take action to help victims.”
Read more: http://forward.com/life/faith/379521/orthodox-survivor-of-sex-abuse-exposes-traumas-in-new-film/





In a nutshell

Still Feeling is a short documentary that celebrates the human spirit. This film employs a novel stylistic approach, to shift the focus from stories of abuse—what exactly happened—to what really matters to a victim's support system, which is the experience and the pain of the person who was abused.

 Still Feeling uses artistic expression as the opening to uncover what it means to be physically, emotionally and mentally violated. By using art to tap into the audience’s vulnerabilities, Still Feeling provides a unique opportunity to explore the depth of the experience and pain of this trauma on a personal level.

 Through moments of composition, expression, contemplation, pain, and awakening, Yuval subtly addresses her childhood experiences; explaining the complexities of the emotional, psychological, and physical effects of childhood sexual trauma.

Still Feeling is in the final phase of post production. This is the magical process of crafting the powerful footage we have into an outstanding documentary film. Please take part in the magic, and help us reach our  post production goal to ensure the continuation of this story. Click here to make a 100% tax deductible donation through our fiscal sponsor.

Yuval Goldenberg

Yuval is an Israeli singer-songwriter who found her voice through music. At a time when Yuval’s life was consumed by the pain, and her daily interactions were overpowered by trauma, Yuval says, “My only lifeline was my music.”

Yuval has chosen to come face-to-face with her experiences of child sexual abuse. Rather than live in the shadow of the trauma, she chose to elevate her pain through song. In Yuval’s original music, she tackles mental health and explores the concepts of destruction and rebirth.
Learn More
  • Wall Of Shame Safety Alert : Israel

    לאחר חקירה ממושכת ומאומצת, JCW מוצא לנכון להזהיר את הציבור מפניו של אליהו יואל (יואלי) ובר, זאת לאחר בדיקה מעמיקה של טענות חמורות ואמינות בדבר סדרה של הטרדות מיניות שביצע.

    ובר ביצע לכאורה שורת מעשים של התעללות חמורה בקטינים כאשר שימש בתפקיד מלמד בחיידר "בית-דוד" במונסי, זאת טרם שעלה לישראל בשנת 2013.

    ובר מתגורר כיום ברמת בית שמש ב', הוא משמש כמנהל רוחני של חיידר "חכמת שלמה" בשכונת מאה שערים בירושלים. נציין כי המוסד היה מודע להאשמות נגדו עוד לפני תקופת העסקתו.
    After a lengthy, intensive investigation, JCW must warn the community of serious and highly credible allegations of sexual molestation by Eliyahu Yoel Weber (Yoely) formerly of Monsey, NY, now of Ramat Bet Shemesh Bet, Israel. 

    Weber is alleged to have molested multiple male minors during his time as a rebbe in Beis Dovid in Monsey before moving to Israel in 2013.

    Weber now resides in Ramat Bet Shemesh Bet, and is currently the menahel ruchani of the Chochmos Shlomo cheder in the Meah Shearim neighborhood of Jerusalem. The school was aware of the allegations against Weber before hiring him.
    נאך א לאנגע און אינטענסיווע ויספאָרשונג, JCW מוזן ווארענען די קהילה פון ערנסט און שטארק אַלאַגיישאנז פון געשלעכט - מאלעסטיישאן דורך אליהו יואל וועבער (יאולי) אַמאָל פון ניו יורק מונסי, איצט וואוינט ער אין רמת בית שמש, ארה"ק.

    וועבער איז אמאל געפונען מיט קליינע קינדר אין צייט וואס ער איז געווען א רבי אין בית דוד חיידר אין מאנסי. איידער ער האט געקומען קיין ישראל פיר יאר צוריק.

    וועבער וואוינט איצט אין רמת בית שמש ב', און איז איצט די מנהל 'רוחני' פון די חכמת שלמה חייידר אין מאה שערים. די חיידר האט געווסט פון די אַלאַגיישאנז קעגן וועבער איידער ער איז געווארן מנהל.
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