JP - Good Shabbos!
CDZ - Hmmm Rebbe, it's Sunday...
JP - I meant Shabbos for the Goyim.
AS- How come there's no strawberry cheesecake on the table here before Shavuos?
Gertzulin - Couldn't squeeze DeBlasio for the funds. We got gun licenses though...
SK- Where's Belsky?
CDZ - He's dead, why?
SK - I think there are bugs in the sponge cake.
CDZ - Belsky did bugs in water.
ASS - What should I write about this meeting?
CDZ - That it was a big success, and bloggers are not real Jews.
AS - They need a good beating at Jamaica - Tranquility Bay!
SK - Takeh, I agree with you Schechter on this one.
Yossi Frankel - The grapes are terrible. Tastes like the diluted drugs from my brother in law, Yankel Rabinowitz, the Dinover.
MK - We have better cantaloupe in Lakewood.
AF - Moshe Eisemann is not doing well, he has arthritis in his hands.
Dovid Feinstein - My brother Reuvein wants me to bring him any leftover honey cake.
JP - It's hard for me to sit, look at me, the Preparation H is not working well today.
CDZ - What's our official position on Trump, should we ask his daughter to give a Perek shiur at Camp Agudah this summer for the counselors?
JP - Call Hershel Schechter from a throw away cell phone, ask him if Ivanka is familiar with (his) Perek.
WERDIGER - I asked my cousin Mordecha to be mechadesh a political pareve nigun so we can play both sides in the election - whoever wins, we can claim it was because of us.
Bim bom bim bom -- Orange sheitlach is a gute zach, blondeh kurvas iz a besser zach, varft avek yeden yar, kishen tuches nuch un nuch, orange sheitlach iz a gute zach.
ASS - Anyone here capable of staying awake on Shavuos night? What are they serving in your shuls? Why are all of you all falling asleep now, wait until Shavuos night?
JP - Avi Shafran, prune juice in my shul.
MK - The Real Estate Market in Lakewood is booming. We now own millions of dollars in property free and clear, thanks to Elly Kleinman and his new shiksa from Mexico. In exchange, no wall around Lakewood, New Jersey will be built, we shmeared Greenblatt over at Trump's office. Part of this "beautiful" agreement is that Kleinman's new child and shiksa will not be deported. Daas Toirah and yashrus dictates that we change the name on the "Kleinman Building" to "The Kleinman/Gonzales Building", no?
JP - I say yes, ASS/Shafran, you need to come up with a piece for the Forward why this is solely to improve race relations in America. It would be good if he also had a shvartze kid...The Forward would love it. "The Kleinman/Gonzales/Obama" division of the Agudath Israel of America would be right here at 42 Broadway.
SK - This is something that Moshe Sherer would have milked the government for for many million$.
CDZ - What's that smell in here? Aron Schechter - are you full of it? Again?
JP - Anyone here have pictures of their aineklach? . We want to talk about the children, right?
ASS - Give a look, they look like me.
SK - Baruch mishane habriyos.
MINCHA