CHILD ABUSE!

****PRESS ADVISORY****

"THE DOV HIKIND SHOW" - WMCA 570 AM Saturday night @11:00 PM Special September 6th broadcast........... Survivor of Sexual Abuse Speaks Out About the Torment of Abuse Fifteen Years Ago, As a Child, at the Hands of Two Community Members Living with the Trauma, Living with the Terror, & Living with the Truth. Sexual Abuse can be repressed with the trauma revisited in sensory triggers and stressors which set off a vivid revisiting of the molestation and exploitation. The horror can be replayed on the mind's eye without reprieve, muting and dulling life's joys and exacerbating life's reversals. It is a rape of the soul. Call in to the radio program: 718-436-1700
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What Can We Do to Prevent it?
By Rabbi Simon Jacobson

Afflicted one, storm-ravaged and disconsolate; behold, I will set your stones in fair colors, and lay the foundations with sapphires. I will make your windows of rubies, your gates of carbuncles, and all your boundaries of precious gems. And all your children will be taught about G-d; great will be the peace of your children. – This week’s Haftorah reading (Isaiah 54:11-55:5)

Dear Rabbi Jacobson,

I am one of the victims of sustained sexual abuse you so sensitively wrote about in your powerful and profound article The Destruction and Restoration of Dignity. My life has been rendered into one battle after another in my desperate search for love, and above all – self-love. The single most damaging effect of abuse is, as you accurately describe, the assault on dignity and violation of self-worth. Feeling like "damaged goods."

Your article deeply moved me and made me feel free. I will read it many times over. To have someone of your stature speaking about these issues is extremely encouraging. It may be an opening – as it was for me – to help wounded spirits breath again.

Now, my greatest concern is my own children. How, as you ask, can I protect them? Having experienced first-hand the damage of abuse, I work very hard, to cultivate and nurture my children’s self-esteem, through sustained efforts to reinforce and validate their beings and their malchus (as you put it), with unconditional love.

But how can we protect our children from the predators outside our homes? I shudder whenever I think – which is quite often – about of the potential dangers that lurk out there.

No words can describe my appreciation to you for bringing to the surface these issues, which is in itself part of the process of healing, like fresh air on deeply ingrained infections. Now let us continue the dialogue by addressing what can and must be done to protect our children.

Blessings to you,

(signed)

One of the most resonating and powerful statements you made in your last article is that “only a radical jolt to the psyche will cause someone to explicitly break away from their peer group.” You cited a psychologist who stated: “In my experience I am slowly coming to the conclusion that in many of these cases the radical jolt began with some form of sexual molestation, in which the child’s inner dignity was violated. When someone is hurt on that level it defiles the innermost, intimate dimensions of the psyche; it drives the child into silence (out of shame and fear he will not speak about the abuse with parents or teachers), a silence andloneliness that eats away, like a cancer, at the child’s inner dignity.”

So what can be done to prevent such jarring experiences that can so alter our children’s lives? Can we do anything to create safer environments for our sons and daughters? Or are we resigned, as some of my friends contend, that nothing can be done, and basically minimize or ignore the issues (the thing called “denial”) to make the horror a bit more tolerable.

One of my colleagues put it this way: Sending our kids to school and camp is like sending them into a minefield. All we can do is close our eyes and pray that they will come out intact.

Do you agree with that, Rabbi?

(signed)

No, I unequivocally disagree with that last statement. We are not victims and we are never helpless. Is life a challenge? Absolutely. Are there predators in our midst? Undeniably. But we are not powerless. A fundamental principle in Torah is that there is no challenge that we cannot overcome. We never face adversary, are never asked to do something that is beyond our capacity.

Our true challenge is not to retreat in fear or convince ourselves that this is “somebody else’s” problem and could “never happen to me and my family.” We must put our heads and hearts together and once and for all take on this man-made plague. As those involved in healing say: Anything that can be broken can be fixed (does anyone know the source?).

The axiom that we can do something about abuse (and about all life’s predicaments) is based on the fundamental principle that a good G-d created this universe and imbued in existence is inherent beauty. That no matter what wounds we sustain, our souls always remain intact. The Divine spirit in each in of us can go under cover – concealed by many, many layers – due to abuse; but it nevertheless always remains alive within. As we read in this week’s Haftorah (the third of the seven weeks of comfort): Incline your ear, and come to Me. Hear, that your soul will live.

If, for example, you believe that “survival of the fittest” is the driving engine of life, then the logical conclusion is that life is not fair and often predators will prevail and their victims will forever remain damaged. The inevitable consequence of this depressing attitude is, as the Haftorah begins, that the afflicted one, storm-ravaged does not feel comforted.

But when you know that beneath and within all the narcissism of material existence lay profound beauty and sublime energy – that a gentle child remains hidden under the hard crust of your adult armor – then nothing, absolutely nothing (except your won self-doubt), can vanquish your spirit.

Take away this principle and you may as well give up. Our challenge is to hold on to this faith and trust even in the darkest moments.

So, in the process of joining together to address the challenge of abuse in our communities, I have been asking this very question to many people: What would you suggest we do to protect our children from abuse?

Though hardly scientific, the grass-roots consensus of the people I spoke to (so far) focused primarily on the effort we must exert on educating our children, from a young age, to protect themselves from anyone who may touch them inappropriately. Explain to them no one has a right to violate their privacy, and that they should report any such violation.

“At what age,” I asked, “should we begin to speak to our children?” Some said as early as they can understand.

Without taking away from the merits of this strategy, we have to examine whether speaking to children is actually effective. Does it help to warn children? I can tell you from personal experience that when I was warned to watch out from predators it actually terrified me. Whenever I saw adults hanging around in certain corners, I would suspiciously look at them like criminals. Monsters lurking everywhere. Remember, children hear things differently than adults. They inherently trust, and when they are warned about threatening elements, they can take it to extremes, like the goblins in a fairy tale.

But even more important is the fact that most abuse does not happen at the hands of strangers sitting in cars at street corners near schools, offering candies or toys to unsuspecting children. Though such pedophiles exist, and children can be taught to avoid such situations, most abuse happens in far more “innocent” ways, usually at the hands of a older friend or relative, someone close to the child, someone the child would never suspect, and someone the child would find difficult to resist. Then, once violated, the child would in most cases not tell anyone, even when pre-warned.

Above all, this approach to speak to our children (which, again, I am not opposed to) is still addressing only symptoms, instead of roots. It speaks to the potential victims, instead of to the perpetrators and the causes for abuse.

What struck me about this attitude – reflected in most of the suggestions people were offering – was that they were all focusing on the receiving end of abuse. As if to suggest, however subtly, that it is the victim’s fault. Had the child protected himself, had she protested, had he reported the abuse, things would have been fine. This approach further feeds into the victimization mentality.

It also suggests, however subtly, that predators are a given, and we can do nothing about them. All we can do is create strong defenses. This too essentially further reinforces a defensive mode to life. Is that a way to live? In constant fear and suspicion of predators, focusing on protective measures to shield ourselves and our children?

I would like to propose another, perhaps radical, not so subtle, suggestion:

Focus on the predators, not on the victims. Beyond the more “documented” cases of abusers, most (undocumented) abuse is perpetrated by friends who are “having fun” and are not necessarily clinical pedophiles. They are experimenting and have no clue how much damage they are doing in their pursuit.

We need to initiate a massive campaign of informing kids that touching and in any way violating the private space of another is not a “game.” It has devastating consequences.

Sexuality is the most intimate and most vulnerable place in the human psyche. When violated it is not like a brawl with a bully, which leaves temporary bruises, but one that remains etched in the psyche and memory, leaving permanent wounds, many which haunt us for the rest of our lives.

Though we must do everything possible to deal with the symptoms of abuse (no different than band-aids and aspirins) with short-term solutions or whatever may possibly work, the biggest challenge is to address the root of the issue: Abuse is only possible because there is a climate, an environment, a breeding ground as it were, that allows abuse to fester and thrive. That breeding ground is the utter ignorance and lack of appreciation of the fundamental sanctity of sexuality. Society as a whole has allowed (or even encouraged) sexuality to be divorced of its intimate mystique; it has been turned into commodity instead of mystery; casual instead of permanent; mechanics instead of relationship; a verb istead of a noun.

The Torah calls sexuality “knowledge” – “Adam knew Eve.” Knowledge is an intimate bond, not a “quick fix.” Knowledge takes years to develop, to nurture, to cultivate. The dignity of the princess is within, more than the golden clothing which she wears (Psalms, 45:14). It is an internal experience, one that works from the inside out, not from the outside in.

Accordingly, we must come out with a massive educational campaign, treated subtly and sensitively, to re-indoctrinate all of us – including our children – in the meaning of intimacy. And how violating someone’s intimate space has far-reaching implications.

To address and prevent a state of abuse – Afflicted one, storm-ravaged and disconsolate ­– the verse continues: And all your children will be taught about G-d; great will be the peace of your children. By teaching our children about the sanctity of life and intimacy, great will be their peace and comfort they will find amidst the storms surrounding us.

Sexuality, by its very nature, is provoked and fueled by discussion. Therefore, great care must be taken that it should be addressed with the appropriate modesty and subtlety. There are some who address the issue of intimacy in non-intimate ways, like speaking about modesty in an immodest fashion; they say the right things in the wrong way. The sanctity and privacy of our most vulnerable place must taught by sensitive professionals who will avoid any provocative expressions or associations. It should be discussed privately with a student, or at most with two or three students, and it should be discussed separately with boys and girls, to keep the boundaries clear. (For more on this, please see te chapter on Intimacy in Toward A Meaningful Life, and also here)

I have no doubt that if kids knew what they were tampering with, and sexual sensitivity would become a social standard (yeh, I know that it’s not happening overnight), even if it would not solve all our problems, it would have visible impact.

In addition: Awareness of the power of sexuality and the damage of abuse should lead to instituting a policy of zero tolerance of predators. As a deterrent they should know that they will be ostracized. Every school and institution where children congregate can appoint a professional to look for signs of abuse. Any detection, any suspicion, should be pursued (obviously, with great care not to accuse innocent people, and with the knowledge that accusation can sometimes be made out of acrimony). Anyone violated would be encouraged to speak up, and when enough reports come in – approach the predator and threaten him. Fear of this nature can have powerful impact.

As we move through the seven weeks of comfort, which coincides with the beginning of the new school year, this is a perfect time to set new standards and declare for all, and especially our children, to hear and see that we will do whatever it takes to protect them, so that no weapon that is formed against you shall prosper.

[This article focused on sexual abuse, though there are other destructive forms of abuse that violate human dignity, which deserve to be addressed].

Please send me your thoughts and suggestions how to help protect our children. It would be a great service to create a public forum and dialogue to bring this matter to the fore, where we can learn from each other and benefit from our collective wisdom.

mlc | Meaningful Life Center
www.meaningfullife.com
E-mail: wisdomreb@meaningfullife.com. Phone: 718.774.6448
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Third And Final Hazmana (Summons) To Bais Din Served Today Upon Lipa Margulies And Yudi Kolko

UOJ ARCHIVES - APRIL 6, 2006

Click on images to enlarge:




To All Jewish People Of Goodwill Around The World:

The final communications with two of the most evil Jews alive today are over. The UOJ team wanted to follow Jewish law by having our grievances heard in bais din.

Lipa Margulies and Yudi Kolko have not responded.

I do not need to spell out what our next step will be.

This is the beginning of the end of Yeshivah Torah Temimah...my advice to members of the staff and to the parents of the students is to look for another place for yourselves and your children.

Rabbis Schustal and Greenfeld, there is a group of wealthy baalei-batim that are willing to back you in opening up a new yeshiva. Ultimately, you need to consider your own future and the future of hundreds of talmidim that will follow you wherever you go. It will take some time; there will be no more Torah Temimah as it exists today. You are welcome to contact me for more details.

Please watch this blog for the latest developments "after" they happen...I do not intend to give notice to the rishaim prior to the next set of events.

We tried....

UOJ

PROOF THAT THE ASHER YATZER GEDOLIM
ARE JUST THAT:

1-FULL PAGE AD IN THE YATED AGAINST PRE-PACKAGED ROMAINE LETTUCE SIGNED BY 60 MORONS WHO HATE HEINNEMAN.

2-AD IN THE HAMODIA, SIGNED BY THE NURSING HOME BRIGADE, AGAINST "THE MAKING OF A GADOL"(DUMBEST BOOK EVER WRITTEN, BY THE DUMBEST PUTZ EVER BORN-UOJ)

3-PAGE TWO AD IN THE YATED INVITING THE "OILAM" TO SHIMSHI SHERER'S DRASHA ON HOW TO MARRY RICH. SEPARATE ADVICE FOR MEN AND WOMEN.(SPONSORED BY THE MOSHE SHERER "JEWISH GROOMING" FOUNDATION.)

4-FULL PAGE AD IN THE JEWISH PRESS ON THE AGUDAH'S UPCOMING DINNER; ONE OF THE HONOREES BEING WJC'S SWINDLER OF THE YEAR, AND PROUD CHAVRUSA IN LEARNING TORAH WITH CARDINAL LUSTIGER AND OTHER CATHOLIC CHURCH MEMBERS, RABBI DOCTOR ISRAEL(BRONFMAN'S WATER BOY) SINGER!

NOT A WORD ABOUT THE REFUSAL OF GANGSTER MARGULIES AND PEDOPHILE KOLKO'S REFUSAL TO COME TO BAIS DIN:

******* PRICELESS!!! *******

More wisdom from the Asher Yatzer Nursing Home Brigade!

Apr. 23, 2006 10:14 | Updated Apr. 23, 2006 15:10
Rabbis call for Yisrael Valis' release
By JPOST.COM STAFF

Jerusalem District Attorney Eli Abarbanel met with haredi leaders Sunday afternoon to discuss the possibility of releasing Yisrael Valis on bail. Valis was arrested on suspicion of killing his three-month-old son.

Officials in the district attorney's office stressed that they would wait to decide on bail until they received a psychiatric evaluation on Valis.

A previous meeting scheduled to take place between the district attorney and haredi leaders was cancelled following violent haredi protests over Valis' arrest

Earlier Sunday, Jerusalem rabbis Shalom Elyashiv and Haim Kanievski released a halachic decree declaring that Valis was innocent.

One of the rabbis, speaking to Israel Radio, said that the basis for the decree was that Valis' wife was still supporting him, and that if he had indeed killed his son, she would not be at his side still.

Valis is facing manslaughter charges for beating his baby son to death. He allegedly hurled the boy against the wall after the infant started to cry, and is suspected of repeatedly biting, beating, pinching and punching the infant since his birth. Valis reportedly "did not accept him" due to a defect in the child's neck muscles, police said.

Extremist elements in the haredi community had previously threatened to riot and to "make Jerusalem burn" if the alleged killer is not released from custody, even though police said that he has admitted beating his child.

In a previous effort to ease tensions, rabbinical sages and Valis' family issued a statement two weeks ago calling on protesters to refrain from violence and from burning trash on the street.

Jerusalem Municipality spokesman Gidi Schmerling said last Saturday that haredi riots over the last week have caused NIS 140,000 in damage, including the destruction of 30 city garbage bins.
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ADDED AUGUST 27, 2008

- Click here for more blooper videos




BREAKING NEWS:

Satmar Teacher Sued By Former Student For Sexual Abuse
- THE JEWISH WEEK

http://www.thejewishweek.com/viewArticle/c36_a13292/News/New_York.html

Sent in by Archie Bunker

Principal arrested on molestation charges

Principal arrested on molestation charges - Efrat Weiss - YNET

Principal of West Bank school arrested on suspicion of having inappropriately touched dozens of teenage male students. Suspect denies all charges

A school principal in a West Bank settlement has been arrested on charges of indecent assault against dozens of his students, aged 12-14, Ynet has learned.

Married and in his late 40s, the man was brought before the Kfar Saba Magistrates' Court on Monday, where he was remanded for three additional days.

According to the police, the suspect repeatedly denied all the allegations in his interrogation: "There was nothing of the sort, I'm being framed," he said.

The investigation began following a tip-off regarding acts the suspect allegedly forced upon eight of his students. A covert investigation was immediately launched, but began to build up speed after an official complaint was filed last week by a resident of the settlement where the incidents allegedly took place – a psychologist who said she was contacted by a family claiming the school principal molested their son.

Chief-Superintendent Mark Amiel told Ynet that investigators sought the testimonies of two youths following the complaint. Amiel said that since the boys were both under the age of 14, their questioning was conducted by specially trained officers and welfare officials.

One of the youths testified that the suspect would sit him on his lap and touch his genitals. The boy recalled at least 15 such incidents spanning nearly two-year. Another student reported the same pattern of abuse.

"This is a difficult and complex investigation," noted Amiel, adding that most of the incidents appear to have taken place within school walls. "We know of another incident that occurred a month ago, while the students were away on a field trip," he said.

"The suspect took advantage of his position and the innocence of dozens of children, employing the same methods to molest them."

Amiel said that some of the parents asked to consult with the settlement's rabbi before cooperating with the investigation. The rabbi, on his part, has cooperated with investigators in full and has been deposed.

"This investigation has just begun. Over the next few days the picture will get a lot clearer. These are shocking incidents, and this is just the tip of the iceberg. We estimate it won't be long before we accumulate enough material to build a case for an an indictment."

Steve's words of truth deserve a headline position:

FROM MASECHES GITTIN 57b:

"Rab Judah said in the name of Samuel, or it may be R. Ammi, or as some say it was taught in a Baraitha; On one occasion four hundred boys and girls were carried off for immoral purposes. They fully understood what they were wanted for and said to themselves, If we drown in the sea we shall attain the life of the future world. The eldest among them expounded the verse, The Lord said, I will bring again from Bashan, I will bring again from the depths of the sea. 'I will bring again from Bashan,' from between the lions' teeth. 'I will bring again from the depths of the sea,' those who drown in the sea. When the girls heard this they all leaped into the sea. The boys then drew the moral for themselves, saying, If these for whom this is natural act so, shall not we, for whom it is unnatural? They also leaped into the sea. Of them the text says, Yea, for thy sake we are killed all the day long, we are counted as sheep for the slaughter.

We learn this gemara on Tisha B'Av because this story happened after the destruction of the Second Temple by the Romans. These young boys drew a kal v'chomer from the action of the girls and proceeded to make a kiddush hashem by leaping to their deaths. To them it was obvious, "Where's the shayla" they asked. How can we submit to the perverted desires of pedophiles? How can we submit to sexual molestation? If the girls, to whom the act is natural, would not submit, how can we?

Gentleman, I ask you, what has trasnpired in the two thousand years since this incident, that has made sexual molestation acceptable? What has transpired to make it not only acceptable, but something that is practiced by "rabbis" without impunity? What has transpired that has made the lives and neshamas of our children expendable for the benefit of these rabbinical pedophiles? I ask you --- WHO IS SICKER, THE PEDOPHILES OR THE CRIMINALS THAT CALL FOR MORE COVERUPS, MORE SWEEPING UNDER THE CARPET, AND FOR "DEALING WITH THESE THINGS PRIVATELY TO PROTECT 'EVERYBODY'???

Those children on the boat understood something that all the gedoilim today cannot comprehend. Either they don't comprehend, or they intentionally skip over this gemara, and skip over the passuk "Al Tigu Bimshichai". How much longer are we going to sit quietly while our children are led like sheep to the slaughter? How many more "incidents" or "cases" do we need to hear about?

How many more "tawdry tales", Avi Shafran? How much more "anecdotal evidence" do you need, scumbag? Why should you respond, you miserable menuval? Those are your exact words. This plague is not important enough to elicit a response from you or the Agudah? Only after you are exposed in a national magazine do you comment with your "we're not as bad as the Catholic Church" nonsense. You only find time to defend the Rubashkins. Scum defending scum. Perfect. The Rubashkins and Avi Shafran, a perfect match. One causes timtum halev by feeding neveilos utreifos and the other destroys neshamos by publicly protecting child molesters. You still think we are capable of policing ourselves, Shafran?

Ask your (former?) colleague Rabbi Horowitz how many calls he gets per week? AT LEAST FIVE OR SIX PER WEEK!!! Nah, there's no plague, sexual molestation is not rampant in our yeshivos, it's all an illusion. It's all a conspiracy concocted by UOJ. Just ask attorney Jeffrey Schwartz, UOJ goes out and recruits victims.

How much longer my friends, how much longer? Talk by Dov Hikind is nice, but it's cheap. We need definitive action. Assembly bill A11399 needs to be passed immediately, Dov. We need rabbis to proclaim from every pulpit that it is a mitzvah to GO DIRECTLY TO THE POLICE if you or someone you know is victimized. This is clear cut halacha. The laws of messira and loshon hara do not protect child molesters. The Torah says "Vechai Bahem", this is pikuach nefashos and a molester is a "rodef". If the rabbis are still not sure, please refer them to the gemara in Gittin 57b. They can learn a thing or two from the kinderlach.

"Beyond Belief - Heart Breaking Stories I’ve Compiled On Molestation In Our Community, Its A Cancer, My Promise I Won’t Sit Silent."

VIN:

Brooklyn, NY - Assemblyman Dov Hikind: Beyond Belief, Heart Breaking Stories I’ve Compiled On Molestation In Our Community, Its A Cancer, My Promise I Won’t Sit Silent.



Brooklyn, NY - “It happened twice in the mikva…..I was nine…. I never told anyone…I can’t tell my wife….she will never understand…How can she?….She will divorce me and take my children from me….,” fraught with intense pain, Duvid struggled as he divulged the more than two-decade old secret that was eroding his emotional and physical health.

The avalanche of stories of molestation and sexual abuse is overwhelming, personally and professionally. The first-person accounts of abuse have shaken me to my core. I have looked into the faces of victims, of their parents, and there is a void where joy should be. There is a vacuum where love should exist. And there is a disconnect with life and living. Victims live between worlds, the past encroaching on the currency of a beautiful life unfulfilled. It is a rape of the soul.

For the last three weeks, I have been immersed in round-the-clock meetings, hearing details no one should hear, referring victims to therapists, and compiling data on the perpetrators who share the same air we breathe. When the victim is one of ours and the molester is one of ours, the suffering is more acute. When it is a neighbor, a friend, a family member, a rebbe, etc., from our community who visits this abomination on our children, and the individual is not isolated or contained, it is a cancer that our society has permitted to metastasize, to grow and flourish into a malignancy.

Has child molestation risen to pandemic proportion in our midst? There is no formal actuarial data to support that, but no doubt predators have been sheltered, secure in the knowledge that the victim’s family will be so shrouded in shame and self-loathing, that denial will rule. When we have more compassion for the pedophile than for the victim, then our communities are doomed to self-destruction. “He’s respected….He’s choshuv….You can’t shame his family. You can’t deprive him of his livelihood…It will be a chilul Hashem….” By our own design, have we perpetuated the pain with our silence, reinforcing the shame, and being complicit in the trauma?

The medical literature says that a pedophile’s sexual interest in children is a disease that can not be controlled, and there must be appropriate psychological intervention. It will not go away with wishful thinking or haphazard monitoring.

Elected officials assign staffers to specific issues. There may be a “legislative desk,” a “Medicare desk,” an “Israel desk,” an “anti-Semitism desk,” a “discrimination desk,” etc, to respond to the needs of constituents. And after 26 years in office in the NYS Assembly, I now have a “sexual abuse desk.” No elected official should have a sexual abuse desk; no one should need one. But we do, because the experts say that one pedophile will abuse hundreds of victims, and I am now dealing with the exponential reality of decades and decades of our institutions, our communities, providing sanctuary to the perpetrators.

On my radio show, Miriam bravely recounted the violation of her son when he was eight years old at the hands of the principal of one of the largest institutions in Williamsburg. Repeatedly molested, her son, now in his twenties, is a member of a heavy metal band. The pain is etched on her son’s face. They have tried everything as a family to respectfully address the institution and remove the rebbe from access to children, and they have become mired in institutional politics, because the yeshiva refuses to acknowledge what the perpetrator did, though more than one victim has come forward. The politics of pain will rule no more; not on my watch. No pedophile should find sanctuary in our yeshivas. The perpetrators will get help or they will go to jail; there will be no self-serving wave of the hand, “Eh, the child and his parents are making it up.”

Another victim, Chaim, was molested summer after summer in one of our finest sleep-away camps. The psychic trauma has lingered for decades and shattered his life. He cannot trust. He cannot enjoy. He cannot feel. Unimaginable, unendurable, inescapable, - what sexual abuse does to the mind, the heart, the soul is devastatingly complete. It seizes the soul in a death-grip of terror and revulsion. It may be a passing scent….of grass, of trees…that triggers flashes of memories and overwhelms with painful sensory imagery of the abuse. It may be the feel of a fabric….it’s everywhere and nowhere…..and he remembers what it is like to be a child at the mercy of a vile adult who used his body over and over again…

For every one pedophile/molester there are hundreds of victims, as long as the violations go unreported or unaddressed. The victims can be your son, son-in-law, grandson, nephew…if it is not dealt with….I heard tapes of Chaim’s perpetrator…I couldn’t handle it. It was too much to bear. I couldn’t hear it anymore, how a molester tried to defend and rationalize what he did to his “favorites” in a well-renowned camp. “They didn’t know anything was going on. It wasn’t like they were hurt by what I did.” I. Didn’t. Want. To. Hear. One. More. Defiled. Utterance. Delving into the mind of a pedophile was traumatic. And his rapid-fire clipped speech and articulate manner underscored the banality of his malevolent indulgences. He destroyed this child and others, now adults, and he spoke of it as if it was meaningless to the children. “They were too young. They didn’t know what was going on. It’s nothing. It happened a long time ago.”

From this point forward, the message will be clear from every rov and every community: Schools and parents have an obligation to come forward to deal with this. If they don’t, then they are complicit in the abuse and will have to answer to another higher desk, after 120 years. That desk, Hashem’s desk, knows the hearts of men, and the purity of conviction, and if you have shielded the guilty, that is the greatest chilul Hashem of all.

We are compiling information which will be presented to rabbonim, material which will be irrefutable, undeniable, inescapable, based upon which there will be a groundswell of support for victims, and an initiative to remove the perpetrators from any and all contact with children.

I can’t bear to hear one more story, but I will. I will hear hundreds if I have to. I’ll cry with as many victims as I have to. And my heart will break, and I will feel desperate to get away from the pain.…but I will get them help. I will listen and I will brush away more tears than I’ve seen in 26 years – my own….for another childhood lost. This will be eradicated from our midst…I’m not a crusader I’m a parent….a grandparent….a man whose mind can no longer process the horrific stories of violations…

If we don’t teach our children to protect themselves from molesters, the molesters will perversely teach them first and paralyze their lives and emotions…There is a part of me that is sorry that I started on this journey of misery and degradation, and there is a part of me which knows that someone has to speak for myriad victims. I haven’t slept well since I launched this mission. I don’t know if I will…again.

There are people who will say that this is a problem which has been around for decades and that it will be impossible to breach the walls that have been put up. But I have faith that with God’s help, we will be able to make a difference in many lives. Are we going to solve the problem entirely? Notoriously, pedophiles are likeable and they blend in well, and formulate a cover story for why they are so involved with your children. Finding every single one and rooting them out, is the province of God. But with God on our side, we have a chance to stanch the loss of our children.

It’s almost too much to bear, but then the phone rings again, and another victim who hasn’t told his narrative to anyone calls, and haltingly asks for a meeting…and I know I don’t have a choice. I’m at 718-853-9616…and I am waiting for your call.

OUT OF CONTROL!

I recently returned from a quick visit to Washington, where I had dinner with a very dear friend of mine. We spoke about many of the burning issues of the day, and at the very end of our dinner he asks; well, what do you think happened to Novak?

For those of you that are not news-junkies, or just hate Bob Novak for converting to Catholicism; on a bright sunny morning he was driving his car on a Washington street where he hit a pedestrian, and did not stop. When the police tracked him down, he did not remember hitting anyone - or having even seen anyone on that street corner.

I turned to my friend (this was before the news about Novak's illness was publicized), and said, " my hunch is either he's going blind - or has a brain tumor." (we both did not think it was a hit and run)

A person I knew, only found out (after years of discomfort) that he had a tumor the size of a basketball , when he took chest x-rays after he had a car accident. Too late to save his life, unfortunately.

A distant relative of mine, was feeling ill for a while, took a stress test, and died in the doctor's parking lot.

....The stories are endless...symptoms of disease, but not quick enough to do anything about it.

The Ramat Bet Shemesh child-rape crisis threw me off the cliff. I thought I had heard it all. The rabbonim gedolim and askonim, to deflect attention away from the sick-scumbag-rebbe-molester, tried to pin the blame on the older sibling of the small child. "The older brother was the child-rapist" - the word went out in the neighborhood from these asher yatzer gedolim.

A woman in Australia, Malka Leifer, runs off to Israel after molesting many female students of hers. No jail - no nothing. All is quiet in Melbourne.

Aron Tendler is free to roam the streets of Baltimore after some twenty years of child-rape and God only knows how many adulterous relationships.

Shalom Tendler gets to open Yeshiva Bircas Yitzchok in Los Angeles, after being fired from the Young Israel and YULA. This abominable panty posek, and alleged adulterer, (much more another time) still stays on the board of the RCC, and the OU is still endorsing his Shabbatons.

Yudi Kolko moves to Lakewood and has no problem joining a shul and hanging around kids, again.

Lazer Ginsburg is actively raising bail money for Colmer, and his mamzer brother in-law, Avrohom Chaim Levin in Chicago, gets to cover-up decades of child-rapists, after this sick wind-bag from the Windy City, sends Brooklyn gift wrapped - Avrohom Mondrowitz - the Ted Bundy of child-rapists!

Shmuel Kaminetzky - The soulless individual, who knowingly sent Moshe Eisemann from Philadelphia to Baltimore - Ner Israel - forty years ago, and whose son in-law, Tzvi Berkowitz covered for Eisemann in Baltimore, is asked to speak at a meeting of victims of yeshiva molestations.

Just one child-rapist - Matt Salomon - the rug salesman from Lakewood - New Jersey, is invited and asked to impart his wisdom to these victimized souls, whose only crime was that their parents wanted them to have a yeshiva education.

We're so friggin' sick that we don't even call the doctor!

"A scandalous sex abuse story is brewing here in Ramat Bet Shemesh."

Dear UOJ,

Thank you for being a voice of reason and providing a forum for the many victims of our leadership. A scandalous sex abuse story is brewing here in Ramat Bet Shemesh.

A rebbe in a school has been accused of molestation of at least one (and possibly more) children. The rabbonim (former Americans) are trying to keep "hush hush" and contain the story. Although the rebbe was removed from the class the rabbonim demanded his return. Only a threat of going to the press and police kept him from coming back into the school and teaching.

The rabbonim suggested that the family pursue justice through an investigation done by a form of "tznius police' in Yerushalyim. The investigation has shlepped out for 2 weeks due to lack of cooperation on the part of the rebbe.

It is now coming out that there were more victims AND that the rabbonim in concert with the school, sent all of the witness kids and potential victims for "deprogramming".

UOJ....what do we do?

*******************************
UOJ -

I salute you for your campaigns to bring molesters to justice. I will be happy if this guy will never be able to come close to a kid again. At the same time I must ask for a matnas chinam......................a broken hearted father.

The father of a victim asked me to remove the names of the rabbis that covered up for the child-rapist, and to edit out some of this post. I will respect his wishes. He said - they were true, but at this crucial time, he felt his family would be better off if those details and names were to be deleted.

UOJ

THE REAL PROBLEM IS NOT TALKING ABOUT "IT" TO OUR CHILDREN, AT HOME AND IN SCHOOL

UOJ ARCHIVES - JULY 10, 2006

A noted Orthodox criminal defense attorney writes
e-mail: dbpesq@gmail.com
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THE REAL PROBLEM IS NOT TALKING ABOUT "IT" TO OUR CHILDREN, AT HOME AND IN SCHOOL

PART 1

Before I write about "the real problem," which everyone has their own opinion about, and everyone is right about, I need to say a few words of introduction about the disingenuousness of Rabbi Avi Shafran.

Rabbi Shafran, whom I have never met, is one of the best "spin doctors" in the world. He is an amazing writer and he does the best job of defending, deflecting, spinning, distracting, etc. everyone from negative attention on Agudah and the Haredi world. I truly and sincerely admire him. And I admire the fact that many newspaper editors – most notably, Gary Rosenblatt at the Jewish Week – will rightfully give him a forum to respond any time he feels there is a need for an Agudah response. I enjoy an open dialogue and reading his/Agudah's point of view.

That said, his recent article entitled "A Matter of Orthodox Abuse" responding to Robert Kolker's NY Magazing article on the Kolko-Torah Temimah sexual abuse and cover-up lawsuits, was Rabbi Shafran at his best – and yet glaringly disingenuous. Robert Kolker himself has done a much better job of responding to Rabbi Shafran than I could ever do. Let me pick his article apart, however, with two additional points.

Rabbi Shafran attempts to quell the panic about sexual abuse in the Orthodox community with a two-pronged approach: (1) There are no statistics, so why assume it is so bad? On the contrary, it's probably not as bad as it is in other segments of the American population, because… (2) "A Torah-observant life does not lead to aberrant behavior; it helps prevent it… That fundamental Jewish truth that human inclinations are harnessed and controlled by Torah-life and Torah-study is self-evident to anyone truly familiar with the Orthodox community."

Let's take them one at a time. Let's first deal with a lack of statistics or a lack of information.

Imagine, if you will, that you are walking about five blocks from your home when you get a text message on your phone that your 4-year-old daughter fell down a flight of stairs inside your home, with no information about the extent of her injuries. Let's assume you do not have the presence of mind to call home, or you do and the line is busy. Do you: (A) assume the best, that she fell only a few steps, and onto carpeting and is resilient enough to stand up and walk it off – and therefore you walk home at a leisurely pace, OR do you (B) assume the worst, that she is severely injured with broken bones and you, therefore, run home to see what you can do to help?

Project the same hypothetical about hearing from a neighbor that there is smoke coming out of your living room window – with no one at home. Do you assume the fire is contained to, say, a waste basket and walk home leisurely or do you run home afraid your house is burning down?

Without commenting on the Kolko case, Rabbi Shafran admits that "abuse of children unquestionably exists in the Orthodox community," but gives you the impression that, although there are no statistics and no one – including him – knows the extent of the abuse, it is wise to assume that it's not so bad.

Rabbi Shafran, your (our) house is on fire, you don't know the extent of the fire, and you are taking a leisurely walk home – a "shpatzeir" – to check on it! How amazingly absurd! There is nothing more Jewish than when there is a problem and we don't know the extent of it, to assume the worst.

(By the way, notice how carefully worded his big "admission" is: He calls it "child abuse" avoiding the term "sexual abuse," so that what he is admitting to could be "potching on the tuchis too hard." He does not mention rabbis or teachers or even a school setting; instead he talks about "in the Orthodox community," with which, if pressed for details, he could say he means parental abuse. And by saying "Orthodox" rather than Haredi he could be pointing a finger at Modern Orthodox and imply that it's less of a problem (or non-existent) in the yeshivish and chasidish world… See, I told you he was good!)

His second prong of the attack is even more absurd than his first. We would all like to believe that a religious lifestyle and dedication to God means a more ethical and moral way of living – and for most people, it truly does. Furthermore, most Jews respect those of other religions who are "frum" within their beliefs. Most Jews will tell you that they'd rather have as a boss or neighbor "a frum goy" than a non-religious Jew. Yet, when we observed the Catholic priest scandal it didn't shock us. We were rather smug in our attitude. It seemed NOT to be inconsistent for us that there are large numbers (again, no statistics) of Catholic priests who are homosexual pedophiles. Why doesn't their situation cause us concern about ours? Is it just because we know that their religion is wrong? Certainly their most religious, most pious leaders, believe, act and preach virtually the same morals and ethics that we do. And yet, so many OF THEM are flawed. Could we not have as many, and possibly more?

And how does one define morality and ethics? Is it limited to sexual abuse and deviation? Or does it broadly include business ethics and money matters? Although there are no statistics, if I told you that a higher percentage of Orthodox Jews cheat on their taxes than, say, Protestant Americans, would that shock you? Would you be as offended and protest? Of course not. It seems to be accepted and acceptable – and may even be a source of pride, since some call it a "mitzvah" – that we lie on our 1040's and cheat Uncle Sam out of as much money as we feel we can get away with.

(I recently became aware of this scam: In a certain Chasidic community, a major girls high school has done away with 12 th grade. Why? See if you can follow this: Many of their girls get married at 18. They marry religiously, and not civilly. When they give birth to their children, they file for welfare as unwed mothers. They recently found out that unwed mothers who did NOT graduate high school are entitled to a greater stipend than those who did graduate. To make sure their girls avoid the temptation of getting a diploma, this school did away with 12th grade.)

Why are we so foolish, so "na'arish", as to believe that we frum Jews can tacitly agree that it is acceptable to file for food stamps and get section 8 housing even though we are earning too much money to qualify for it but because it's a cash business or we're getting paid off the books, and that this lack of morality would not affect our sexual morality? That when we rationalize one thing, why do we deny it will cause us to rationalize others?

When our sages said "Mitzvah goreres mitzvah, v'aveirah goreres aveirah," they didn't mean that an doing an aveirah would cause us to do the same sin again. They meant that rationalizing one sin will cause us to rationalize another sin.

STAY TUNED FOR PART 2 IN WHICH I GET TO THE REAL PROBLEM.

RABBI NUCHEM ROSENBERG'S HOTLINE - 212-461-2778

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Stamford Hill, London – Williamsburg Controversial Activist Heckled, Flees To Get Police Protection

Published on: 07-24-08 at 07:19 PM - London

Rabbi Nochum Rosenberg of Brooklyn, New York, and a controversial figure in its Williamsburg-neighborhood Chasidic community, was physically accosted this evening by dozens of angry Chasidim in London’s Stamford Hill, after he visited today that community to assist in a private matter.

Seeing a hostile situation about to erupt out of control, Rabbi Rosenberg managed to flee to a passing police car, which carried him away to safety. He is currently being held under protection of the Met, London’s police force, until his departure and return to the U.S.

Rabbi Rosenberg is well-known for helping establish mikvaos all over the world over the past 20 years. His notoriety has spiked in recent months, however, due to his newly-adopted personal crusade against an internal communal problem which he claims goes ignored and untreated in the Orthodox community: molestation of children.

His advice/support hotline and call-in phone show, which he claims draws 10,000 listeners, has labeled specific prominent rabbis and educators as perpetrators, earning him a ban by several dozen New York rabbonim a few weeks ago on grounds of unnecessarily vulgar and graphic language, not to mention exposure of otherwise reputable individuals.

Mr. Rosenberg appeared a couple of weeks ago on a Jewish talk radio show , where he vowed he will not stop his crusade despite a ban against him.

........ And the great rabbis and sages - gedolim - and great judges - say thank you to R' Nuchem!

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