The year is 2025, and Donald J. Trump is apparently still president — not only of the United States, but of Israel too. At least that’s what one might think after his fiery declaration: “I will not let Israel annex Judea and Samaria.”
Donald J. Trump has finally done it. He’s achieved the dream no man before him has dared: he is president of two countries at once. Not satisfied with running America into the ground, he has now taken it upon himself to run Israel too.
When he thundered, “I will not let Israel annex Judea and Samaria,” the world should have asked one simple question: since when does an American president get to veto Jewish sovereignty in Jewish land? Israel has a Knesset, a Supreme Court, and a prime minister. What it apparently also has is a freelance American overseer who believes he has power of attorney over Zion.
This is not “alliance.” This is colonial cosplay. Trump isn’t treating Israel like a partner — he’s treating it like Puerto Rico with better falafel. He imagines he’s the landlord of the Middle East, doling out permission slips for Jews to live where Abraham once walked.
Trump may imagine himself the “best friend Israel ever had,” but the irony is glaring. A true friend doesn’t sit on your couch, eat your food, and then tell you which rooms you’re allowed to sleep in. A true ally doesn’t become a co-president — uninvited.
This is how you manufacture “one president, two countries.” The formula is simple: America pays the bills, Israel fights the wars, and Trump decides the borders. Israel may have the right to self-determination, but only if the White House press secretary approves the press release.
The hypocrisy is staggering. America jealously guards its borders, lectures the world about sovereignty, and celebrates independence every July 4th. Yet when Israel wants to apply sovereignty to its own heartland, suddenly it’s not allowed — because President of Two Countries, Donald J. Trump, says so.
Judea and Samaria aren’t Jewish heritage to Trump; they’re bargaining chips in his Nobel Prize fantasy. Israel’s destiny reduced to a vanity project.
The whole charade is insulting. A true ally doesn’t say, “I won’t let you annex your own land.” That’s not friendship — that’s occupation by proxy. Trump’s slogan might as well be: Make Israel Obedient Again.
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