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Tuesday, June 27, 2023

Why Not Scar A Child For Life Over Some BOZO "CODE"?

 

Against school code: Girl suspended from haredi school after celebrating Bat Mitzvah

 


The school claims the party went late, the songs at the event were not from the approved list, and several male relatives were present.

Hadar, a 12-year-old student at a haredi school in Ashkelon, was suspended after, according to the school, her Bat Mitzvah celebration violated school policy. According to Kan News, since then nearly two weeks, the school administration has not allowed her to return to class.

According to the girl's mother, the event was organized per the school's strict code, with strict kosher supervision and a female photographer, DJ, and waitresses. She says the trouble began in the middle of the event when the Hadar's friends began to leave early. "During the party, there was a commotion because the party was supposed to end at 9:30 PM. I explained the problem to the assistant principal that I already had invited people for a specific time, and I couldn't change it. The whole point of having a party for only girls is so her classmates could come."

Hadar recounted, "I was sad, I cried, I told my friends the principal wouldn't do anything, don't worry, stay. Some said, 'You're right,' they stayed, and some left."

Two days later, Hadar, a sixth grader at the Netzach Israel school in Ashkelon, received a letter notifying her that she would not return to class until her mother signed the letter admitting that she was wrong. According to the school, the party continued past the accepted time, the songs played at the event were not from the approved list, and several male relatives, including Hadar's father and grandfather, were present.

The school's principal claims that "the girl's mother keeps refusing to sign the letter she received after she violated several articles of the school's code."

The Ashkelon Municipality stated: "It was made clear to the student's mother that she can return to school, but she chose not to." (LIE)

 

http://www.israelnationalnews.com/news/373284?utm_source=activetrail&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=nl

Monday, June 26, 2023

Child sexual abuse at religious Jewish camps, schools no longer secret

 

Child sexual abuse at religious Jewish camps, schools no longer secret 


If a young child today suffers abuse, chances are, it will have been recorded in some way. A reconstruction of that moment with the use of modern technology, enables them to speak up.

 ‘I CANNOT keep quiet.’  (photo credit: Kristina Flour/Unsplash)
‘I CANNOT keep quiet.’

I am ready to raise a storm. I don’t think I have a choice anymore – I cannot keep quiet and I will use the powers I have to raise awareness.

I feel a little like the character Carrie Bradshaw in Sex and the City, when she would sit down and write her funky articles on single life in one’s forties, from her cute little apartment. There, she’d sit at her desk in front of open windows overlooking a charming street in Manhattan, while wearing a super-cool outfit and her hair up in a trendy bun.

I am also by a window overlooking a stunning view of the Knesset, but that is where the similarities end. I am wearing a headscarf, hoping my kids are sleeping in their beds and knowing, in the back of my mind, that I still have to finish the dishes, load a washing machine and make sure uniforms are ready for school the next day. Oh, and I almost forgot – I am not writing about the single lives of wealthy girls in their forties, but about a subject that frightens me: sexual abuse of young boys.

My seven-year-old boy is finally sleeping calmly in his bed. I stare at him, with his blond hair and blue eyes. He looks like a mini Leonardo DiCaprio.

Yesterday, I got a call from a friend in Milan asking me if I was interested in sending him to camp there. For years, I went to that same camp as a child, and then as a teenager. I was in the girls’ division and I loved it.

I have such good memories of the place: A large Tuscan villa nestled between the Tuscan mountains, with gorgeous views and only 30 minutes from the Mediterranean Sea and the gorgeous town of Viareggio, known for its beaches, markets and stores.

 

 Israeli kids wearing school bags. (credit: YONATAN SINDEL/FLASH90)

 

“Of course I would love to send him,” I heard myself saying out loud, that’s “my camp.” My oldest girls went there in the past, and this year, it’s my seven-year-old boy and nine-year-old girl’s turn.

A few nights after that conversation about camp, however, I found myself sitting up in bed, unable to sleep.

“What if it happens to him?” I thought to myself.

I have been hearing rumors for quite some time: Stories from all over the world about what happens in boys’ camps, boys’ schools and yeshivot. I heard stories of friends falling apart 30 years later because of a secret they were hiding since childhood, and then it came out.

Suddenly, I understood their occasional weird behavior or lifestyle, as if something was not quite right. Then I realized that this person must have gone through something traumatic at a younger age and never spoke about it.

When I went to camp 30 years ago, these thoughts would never have entered my parents’ minds – no one spoke about it as it wasn’t something that was taken into consideration.

Yet, here I am, more or less the same age as my mum at that time, wondering whether my child might be sexually abused if I send him to a religious camp.

What has happened to our world? Was it always like this?

Fears of sexual abuse at religious Jewish institutions

The only difference between then and now, is that 40 years ago, you wouldn’t say a word if something happened to you, because no one would believe you. If you dared to speak out, you would be ridiculed and sidelined.

Now we live in another era entirely, where we speak to our wrist to make a phone call and take videos with our phones. Secrets are hard to keep, and everything is recorded.

If a young child today suffers abuse, chances are, it will have been recorded in some way. A reconstruction of that moment with the use of modern technology, enables them to speak up. This, in turn, has empowered those who have kept their own dark secrets hidden deep in their souls for decades, fearful that no one would believe them. Now, they too feel they can come forward and tell their stories – the secret is out.

SOMEHOW, THESE dark stories of abuse all seem to have started in a kids’ camp at a very young age, often at the hands of a counselor or teacher. From that day on, their lives changed.

Boys, who are now fathers themselves, often wonder if they might have turned out differently, were it not for that little secret they kept inside for so long? Would their life choices have been different had they come forward and spoken openly about their experiences, without fear of being humiliated – or even turned away? 

This is a big problem in our society where camps operate strict rules of gender segregation: boys sleep with boys and are supervised exclusively by male counselors.

I want to be clear, that sexual abuse happens across all sectors of society, and not just in religious Jewish circles. Lately, however, an increasing number of disturbing stories have come to light concerning all-boys religious camps, schools or yeshivot where the abuse is alleged to have taken place at the hands of those in positions of power.

I never thought this appalling situation could, one day, hit so close to home – where I would be scared for my own son.

Until seven years ago, we were a “girls only” house – then my little boy was born. Friends had warned me, about how different it would be with a boy. I thought for sure, no more bows and frills, but boring boys’ clothes and short hair.

And then it slowly dawned on me while eavesdropping on a parents’ meeting, and listening to friends reminiscing. As I gathered more information, I became aware of a big problem which is no longer hidden from view. Sexual abuse – a subject which is now openly discussed, just as we would discuss any other subject surrounding boys’ activities in class, school or camp.

Sexual abuse, can range from an improper comment directed to a boy, to full blown physical abuse – and all that lies in between.

When they are young, our greatest worry concerning our boys, is why they don’t sleep at night, or that they might destroy our house. Once they start going away to overnight camps, school and yeshivot, suddenly the nights seem so long and silent as we wonder if everything is okay with them, wherever they are.

When they come back home, it’s important to stay up late into the evening, talking to them and encouraging them to be open with us. We must encourage them to share any dark secrets they might have and be ready to help if necessary.

I don’t think I will send him to camp this year – not yet. I am not ready to face this dark side of reality.

When your child goes away, be aware – watch out for clues of anything unusual and be prepared to help him, should the worst happen. 

https://www.jpost.com/opinion/article-747292

Tuesday, June 20, 2023

Over time, Yaacobov’s private lessons escalated to phone calls and text messages and, ultimately, an invitation to a Shabbat dinner at his apartment, located so far from her home that she would need to stay over to avoid the prohibition on traveling on Shabbat.

 

A Berlin rabbi has been fired amid mounting allegations that he preyed on young women

 

BERLIN (JTA) — As a teenager in Berlin, Adelle was honored when a rabbi began showing interest in her spiritual development. Rabbi Reuven Yaacobov’s offer of personal instruction was an appealing prospect to the Russian-speaking immigrant with no documentation of her Jewish heritage.

Over time, Yaacobov’s private lessons escalated to phone calls and text messages and, ultimately, an invitation to a Shabbat dinner at his apartment, located so far from her home that she would need to stay over to avoid the prohibition on traveling on Shabbat.

There, Adelle was surprised to discover that Yaacobov’s wife was away and she was the only guest. After setting up the couch for Adelle, Yaacobov told her she needed a massage. There were points in her body, he said, where her energy was blocked.

He began with her back but ultimately told her that the points that needed attention — he called them chakras, a Hindu term, and sefirot, a term from Jewish mysticism — included her uterus.

“He said, ‘If I am not pressing it now, basically all that hard work I did’ – half an hour of hard work pressing on my back – ‘all that hard work is going to go to waste. If you don’t activate it all the way, it’s not going to work,’” Adelle recalled.

“I was very fresh to Jewish life. I didn’t know much,” she said. “I was not sure, but if it is a rabbi telling you that something is wrong [with you], you know, I kind of accepted it.”

After her formal conversion to Judaism, the touching escalated to pressure to have sexual intercourse, which Yaacobov said was permitted under Jewish law if he took her as a secret second wife.

He told Adelle that through her conversion she had absorbed the spirit of Batsheva, the Biblical woman whom King David famously spotted from afar and took as his wife — even though he had to have her husband killed to make it happen. Yaacobov said that only he, as a self-described descendant of David, had special powers to heal her.

When she balked, he told her that she would “stay a zero, just like you are now” and that her spiritual development would remain stunted.

“He made it very clear that I am a nobody at that point,” she recalled. “And, so, 19-year-old me, from not a very good family background — that was a statement that sounded true.”

Rabbi Reuven Yaacobov on stage during the ceremonial handover of a new Torah 

 

Yaacobov’s hold over her was so complete, Adelle said, that when her Orthodox girls school announced that students could no longer associate with the rabbi, she rejected the warning.

“They summoned me to speak about that, and told me some horrifying things about him, and I was in complete denial,” she said. “I said, ‘No, no, it cannot be, he is a holy person. It cannot be, it’s wrong, you guys are wrong!’ I was fighting against them.”

That was in 2010. For years, Adelle told her story to no one. But eventually, she learned that “there was a whole team of Batshevas” — women like her whom Yaacobov had identified as vulnerable and groomed for sex, leveraging their naivete about Judaism to his advantage.

Now, Yaacobov has been fired from his position as the rabbi of Tiferet Israel, Berlin’s Sephardic synagogue, because of the alleged misconduct. His termination came just one day after Adelle and other women — organized by a onetime champion of Yaacobov named Elena Eyngorn — brought their stories to the Jewish Community of Berlin, the group that oversees most Jewish institutions in the city and employs some of its clergy.

“In view of the seriousness of the allegations, the Executive Board was shocked and outraged and immediately released Rabbi Yaacobov and finally fired him without notice effective May 31,” Ilan Kiesling, the organization’s spokesperson, said in a statement to the Jewish Telegraphic Agency.

He said Tiferet Israel would be “closed until the facts have been fully clarified” and that worshipers could pray at a nearby synagogue instead. He also said steps would be taken to prevent “such incidents in the future” and noted that a religious court, known as a beit din, might try Yaacobov according to Jewish law.

“The community has promised the victims unlimited support,” Kiesling said.

Yaacobov did not respond to JTA’s queries sent via Facebook messenger and WhatsApp.

Although the women and their advocates are relieved to see Yaacobov lose his pulpit, Yaacobov’s firing — which has not been publicly announced — is raising broader questions about the community and its guardrails. How could his alleged misconduct have gone unaddressed for years? Could someone have taken action earlier?

In fact, the Jewish Community of Berlin, the local police and an Orthodox rabbinical court in Moscow all received complaints about Yaacobov’s behavior with women in the past. The complaints predated the sweeping cultural shift around responses to sexual misconduct, known as #MeToo, that began in 2017 when the Hollywood producer Harvey Weinstein was accused of being a serial sex abuser.

“If Elena was able to do this in two weeks, to pressure the head of the community and get it done and get him to lose his job, how come all the powerful people that knew about it for years couldn’t take him down?” Adelle asked. “How come?”

Yaacobov has long been a popular spiritual leader in a subset of Berlin’s large community of Russian-speaking Jews. Born in Uzbekistan and ordained by the Midrash Sepharadi Yeshiva in Jerusalem, Yaacobov, 46 and a married father of three, also studied at the Moscow Yeshiva in Russia and the Shavei Gola Yeshiva in Jerusalem before being hired by the Jewish Community of Berlin 17 years ago, according to a biography that was removed from the organization’s website this month.

In addition to leading Tiferet Israel, Yaacobov has worked as a sofer, or ritual scribe, as a shochet or ritual slaughterer, and also as a mohel, performing brit milah, or traditional circumcision, on male infants. Sources in the community say he has performed circumcisions since being fired from his synagogue position. On his social media accounts, he posts inspirational videos and notes in Russian.

“Never, ever let others convince you that something is difficult or impossible,” he wrote in a post last week. “When you know what you want, and you want it bad enough, you’ll find a way to get it.”

The full scope of the allegations against Yaacobov is still unfolding. JTA has met with two women who say Yaacobov lured them into sexual relations, using pseudo-religious justifications, and spoken with a third who said she got away before he touched her. The women are being identified by pseudonyms because they asked that their names not be published.

Others told JTA they are aware of additional survivors. Eyngorn said she has spoken directly with nine, including the three with whom JTA spoke; new accounts continue to emerge, she said, as word spreads about her inquiries.

What is clear is that the testimony given to the Jewish Community of Berlin instigated immediate action — offering a sharp contrast to what happened at multiple other junctures when people raised concerns about Yaacobov’s behavior.

At least twice, women went to law enforcement but no charges resulted. In one case, Berlin’s top prosecutor declined to investigate the report it received, telling an attorney that because their client was a legal adult at the time of the incident and appeared to have been able to leave the scene if she wanted, there was no grounds for a criminal investigation.

Meanwhile, a woman who left Germany for Moscow gave a statement to the rabbinical court there over a decade ago, according to Rabbi Pinchas Goldschmidt, then the chief rabbi of Moscow. Goldschmidt, the longtime head of the Conference of European Rabbis, said he passed the complaint along to Lala Suesskind, then president of the Jewish Community of Berlin. He was not aware of any action taken in response.

Suesskind told JTA that she did not recall hearing from Goldschmidt but said she had received a different tip about Yaacobov’s behavior — which she dismissed as a rumor.

She said a Berlin rabbi whom she would not name had come to her with reports of sexual impropriety by Yaacobov during her tenure, which lasted from 2008 to 2012.

“I said, ‘Then bring the women to me.’ No one came. No one did anything,” Suesskind said. “I am someone who does not react to rumors and doesn’t spread them. I had no facts.”

The turning point against Yaacobov came this spring after Liza Khurgin, a volunteer at a Berlin conference for Russian-speaking Jews held in March, raised concerns about his behavior following a lecture he delivered on the topic of “Kosher Sex.” She told JTA she had objected to Yaacobov’s “sexist” comments and left early — then began to get repeated messages from the rabbi.

“I don’t know how he got my Telegram contact,” she said, referring to a secure text platform. “He started to message me that I looked sad and someone broke my heart and he can help. He started to call on Telegram and tried to contact me again on Facebook, and I did not reply.”

She added, “It was not appropriate. It was very weird. You don’t expect a rabbi to act this way.”

Khurgin urged the conference organizers never to invite Yaacobov again. The organizers in turn informed Eyngorn, a former president of Germany’s Federation of Jewish Students who had nominated him to speak. Having known Yaacobov for years — he even performed her son’s bris — she was shocked.

“Before accusing someone you have to check,” Eyngorn told JTA. “I started to investigate and … realized this story had a much longer history and was more terrible than I imagined.”

Stories started spilling out, spanning years and all following a similar trajectory. Eyngorn said several women told her about how Yaacobov “groomed” them over weeks and months — after checking their age, gradually winning their trust and fealty, and ultimately swaying them to accept intimate touching and submit to sexual acts by claiming that a secretive Jewish court had prescribed this treatment for them or — in another variant — claiming that only he, supposedly a descendant of King David, could rescue their souls.

Twisted invocations of scriptures and religious law are common among sexual predators who happen to be rabbis, said Rabbi Yosef Blau, spiritual guidance counselor and rosh yeshiva at the Rabbi Isaac Elchanan Theological Seminary at Yeshiva University in New York, and a longtime advocate for survivors of sexual misconduct in the Orthodox world.

Blau recalled being consulted about a different rabbi who had been accused of abusing teens.

“They were people who at this point knew very little about Jewish law, and therefore it was possible for him to manipulate them to think what he tells them is permissible is permissible,” Blau said. “He is the rabbi who is bringing them into Judaism, defining Judaism in his terms, and that gives him a certain measure of control over them.”

While the two women who met with JTA were not legally minors at the time of the alleged misconduct, they described themselves in hindsight as impressionable and vulnerable.

Sara, who first came under his sway when she was 18, recalled Yaacobov progressing from lessons in Kabbalah and Jewish law to telling her how to walk, do her hair and nails in order to be attractive to men. The next step seemed to follow logically: photographing her in her underwear, supposedly in order to check her “chakras.” He also told her he was a physiotherapist, which further undermined her skepticism, she recalled.

Afterward, “I just left in a kind of shock,” Sara told JTA. “I thought something is obviously seriously wrong with me; that is why all of the things are happening to me that I find so difficult. So he will fix them, right? And this is the discomfort I will have to go through.”

In their final meeting, she said, he told her that a secret Jewish court required her to perform oral sex on him. He insisted he was only acting in accordance with her spiritual needs — while making her swear not to tell anyone because of the risk of consequences in the “spiritual realm.”

Estie was a bit older than the other women who talked to JTA, no longer a teenager, when Yaacobov started chatting with her after she attended a lecture he gave on family values.

She had been going through a difficult phase, having just ended a relationship. “He said, ‘I will help you,’ and he immediately started to give me advice on how to get a good guy,” she said. After they met once in public, he invited her for “training.”

From there, her story mirrored those of Adelle and Sara.

“He said, ‘Your chakras are closed, you need to open up,’” Estie recalled. Then, he invited her to his home. She was looking forward to meeting the wife and children he spoke of so warmly, and bought some kosher candy as a gift. But when she arrived at his apartment, she discovered she was alone with him.

“He said he wanted to give me a massage,” she said. “It was a weird, uncomfortable situation. I am alone with a rabbi in his apartment and he wants to give me a massage – a full-body massage. He said, ‘You should be more open, you should open your buttons.’”

Estie said she made up an excuse and left. “I did not let him do it. I got out with very little damage.” Afterward, she said, he called her incessantly.

“He said he can help me and I am denying his help, and he made me feel really bad about myself,” she said.

Estie said she had been able to cope with her trauma, in part by jokingly referring to Yaacobov as “Reuven the Masseur.” But she said she was “shocked” when she found out, through Eyngorn, that other young women had been in a similar situation to hers.

“I didn’t know that it was his hobby. I didn’t know he was so bad, that he did much worse things,” she said.

“I really trusted him,” she added. “I told him my story about my breakup and I cried. He looks for people who are weak or vulnerable at the moment. He told me, ‘I will help you.'”

Adelle, Sara and Estie were all immigrants to Germany from the former Soviet Union; about 90% of German Jews today have roots there. While Estie was exploring her Jewish roots on her own, Adelle and Sara were attending an Orthodox school created to serve young Russian-speaking women amid a broad push to connect immigrants with the Judaism they had been prohibited from accessing under communism.

Their profile — young, Russian-speaking Jews on the search for spiritual fulfillment — may have made them targets. “According to my humble understanding it is a matter of finding vulnerable people,” said Rabbi Zsolt Balla of Leipzig, who has counseled Eyngorn and some of the women as they prepare to seek redress in a religious court.

Rabbi Zsolt Balla

Rabbi Zsolt Balla speaks in a synagogue in Saxony, Germany

“Someone who wants to groom people has to find the common denominator,” and in this situation, Balla said, “it was language.”

Shana Aaronson, the executive director of Magen-Israel, an advocacy group for survivors of sexual misconduct in religious communities in Israel, said it was significant that the rabbi’s alleged misconduct came as the women were being steeped in Orthodox Judaism, where rabbinic leadership confers power.

In Orthodox communities, “we are trained from an early age to do what the rabbi says,” Aaronson said. A predator’s “first step is an overstepping of boundaries, involving themselves in aspects of the person’s life that do not fall into the rabbi’s role: ‘Let me guide you and advise you on this, that and the other thing not related to their spiritual observance.”

Then, she said, they break down emotional boundaries, and ultimately give Jewish legal or “halachic reasoning for why what I am now telling you to do is OK or necessary.” Some will even bring texts to justify their actions, she said.

“Yes, we are taught that this behavior is forbidden, but it always comes back to the fact that the rabbi knows best,” Aaronson said. “It sounds absurd, but even a young woman who is educated is certainly not as knowledgeable as a rabbi. If he says in this case it is allowed, who is she to question that?”

When Adelle realized that she had been victimized, she apologized to her school’s administration for not heeding its warning about Yaacobov. She also began realizing that she needed to unlearn the twisted version of Judaism that he had taught her.

“I started to wake up and reevaluate everything he taught me, everything he said, ever,” Adelle recalled. “Three years of telling me things, three years of nonsense, along with Torah, along with wrong information, wrong halacha, wrong everything. It was like being reborn.”

The girls school was not the only Jewish institution to keep Yaacobov at a distance. ORD, Germany’s Orthodox rabbinical organization, spurned his bid for membership more than once at least a decade ago after a majority of members voted against his application. Their reasons are not public.

Now, ORD is hoping to take action to prevent harm to other women. Rabbi Avichai Apel, a board member, said the group wants to convene a religious court or beit din quickly to adjudicate the claims of Yaacobov’s alleged victims under Jewish law.

A beit din cannot put someone in jail, but it can issue pronouncements that affect a person’s role in the community. It could “issue a public statement saying that [the accused] is not allowed to interact with women or declaring him unfit to serve as a rabbi,” said Blau, who has begun advising ORD about its handling of Yaacobov. “In effect he will have been found guilty.”

Rabbi and Torah scribe Reuven Yaacobov writes sections of a Torah

In Jewish settings, Blau said, “an accused perpetrator is responsible whenever he takes advantage of a power imbalance, irrespective of the age of the victims.”

Apel declined to comment on Yaacobov’s case specifically but said he said he knew that sharing testimonies with rabbis could be hard for the women.

“It is a situation that nobody wants to imagine for himself, it is so terrible, really terrible,” he said. “But unfortunately they have to speak about it.”

He also said he planned to talk with his own congregation about the subject of sexual abuse, to help them recognize and prevent it, and to support survivors.

Goldschmidt said the more witnesses who appear before a beit din, the more likely the rabbinical court is to find in their favor.

“When it is a story of one man against a woman, it is her word against his,” said Goldschmidt,. “But if you are talking about a whole line of people who alleged that a person has been sexually improper with them, in 99% of the cases [it turns out] that where there is smoke, there is fire.”

Eyngorn said that, in her view, the situation is not just a fire but a conflagration. In the days after Yaacobov was terminated, she said her phone rang “every second moment” with people angry that she had worked against him.

“Women from his synagogue were accusing me: ‘You fired such a great rabbi! We are women and it never happened to us!’” she recalled. “I said, ‘It also did not happen to me; that is not an argument at all.’”

Since then, she said, some of them have called back or written to apologize, saying that they, too, have stories about Yaacobov.

Monday, June 19, 2023

Israel's National Security Ministry announced a new initiative on Sunday designed to keep children safe online by creating an online service in which parents and children can report dangerous activity online.

 

Israelis can now report internet child abuse to police online

 

The initiative falls under the auspices of the Israel Police's Unit 105, a section of the Lahav 433 unit that specifically handles children's safety on the Internet. 

 Young child uses the computer. (photo credit: Wikimedia Commons)

Israel's National Security Ministry announced a new initiative on Sunday designed to keep children safe online by creating an online service in which parents and children can report dangerous activity online. 

The initiative falls under the auspices of the Israel Police's Unit 105, a section of the Lahav 433 unit that specifically handles children's safety on the Internet. 

Known as the “Israeli FBI,” Lahav 433 is the police unit tasked with investigating national crimes and corruption. 

The form, currently available in Hebrew and Arabic, allows users to report anyone harming minors online directly to Unit 105. Users can type up their reports and attach screenshots, documents, photos, and videos as needed.

"Protecting children online is a very important goal," said National Security Minister Itamar Ben-Gvir in a statement on the new initiative. "In order to reduce violence and harm to children online, the National Security Ministry is working with TikTok Israel, Google Israel, Meta and others. [This new] option [people have] of sending in a report online will encourage more populations to report [wrongdoing]. It is also useful for more diverse populations, children and parents with special needs."

 A router providing internet access. (credit: Walla)

Israel's 105 child internet safety hotline

Unit 105 already operates a telephone hotline (reachable by dialing 105 from within Israel) specifically designed for people to report those who are harming children via the Internet.

The hotline is a joint operation run by the National Securty Ministry, the Education Ministry, the Health Ministry and the Knesset Labor and Welfare Committee. According to the Israel Police, the 105 hotline has handled approximately 45,000 cases of abuse of minors since it was established in 2018. 

https://www.jpost.com/israel-news/crime-in-israel/article-746708


Sunday, June 18, 2023

In the religious communities in Israel we have also witnessed a sea-change. High profile cases like Chaim Walder in the haredi community and Mordechai Elon in the national religious community have raised awareness. Where there were few activists and organizations before, there are now a growing body, some of whom are themselves the victims of abuse.

 

Breaking the taboo on sexual abuse in all communities 

 

Shame is a weapon used by abusers and predators across the social and religious spectrum, and we have got to take it away from them.

 YAEL SHERER, a survivor of domestic sexual abuse and founder of the Lobby for the Fight Against Sexual Violence, was one of the torchlighters at the Independence Day ceremony on Mount Herzl last year. (photo credit: YONATAN SINDEL/FLASH90)
YAEL SHERER, a survivor of domestic sexual abuse and founder of the Lobby for the Fight Against Sexual Violence, was one of the torchlighters at the Independence Day ceremony on Mount Herzl last year.

Survivors of sexual abuse carry shame and guilt, often for decades. It is society’s responsibility to say loudly that they carry no guilt for the crimes committed against them, and they should not feel shame, just because they are victims. Shame is a weapon used by abusers and predators across the social and religious spectrum, and we have got to take it away from them.

Yael Sherer is a survivor of domestic sexual abuse and the founder of the Lobby for the Fight Against Sexual Violence. I first came across her while reading a story in Israel Hayom last week about the lack of resources for facilities used in the acute treatment of children who have been sexually abused. The Lobby is one of myriad organizations that is trying to reduce the amount of abuse and support the survivors.

The prevalence of sexual predators, within so many communities, makes the hope of eradication of sexual abuse and rape of children almost utopian. However, there is much that can be done to reduce the dreadful impact. Closed communities, including the religious and haredi, are absolutely not alone in suffering this scourge but, because of the nature of the communities, the impact is often amplified.

According to Sherer, there remains a serious taboo around the subject across all sections of society. This translates into a lack of motivation by the myriad of government offices that should be tasked with protecting victims. “The complex issue of sexual abuse demands a complex and integrated response. That means coordination between government ministries, including education, justice, welfare, treasury and others. In reality, the only body able to lead this is the Prime Minister’s Office.”

Research shows that hundreds of thousands of Israelis are affected by sexual abuse meaning that this is not a marginal issue, but a national one and where victims still struggle to be heard.

 President Isaac Herzog at the reception of the report of the Israeli Independent Public Inquiry into Child Sexual Abuse, December 13, 2021. (credit: AMOS BEN GERSHOM/GPO) President Isaac Herzog at the reception of the report of the Israeli Independent Public Inquiry into Child Sexual Abuse
 

Almost no senior Israeli politician has addressed the topic with only former prime minister Yair Lapid commenting on the subject. Even then, Lapid spoke only because of the nationalistic nature of a story that involved female prison warders being sexually attacked by Palestinian terrorist inmates.

Stigma is not unique to a single community or a single country.

Neil Henderson, CEO of UK charity Safeline was interviewed last month on the importance of breaking the taboo that still surrounds sexual abuse. Safeline is a specialist charity that works to prevent sexual violence and abuse and support those affected to cope and recover.

The organization published research showing that only a tiny percentage of victims actually report the abuse. And why is that? “This has a lot to do with ‘not being believed’ and the stigma of the subject.” In their research they have learned that female survivors, on average, keep their abuse to themselves for 25 years and men, who have been abused, for 40 years, before speaking out.

Two recent high-profile events stand out in the UK that have led to a change in attitudes. The first involves Broadchurch, a drama series which highlighted sexual abuse within the story line, and the footballers #metoo moment in 2016 when many high-profile professional footballers went public about abuse that they had suffered in in the 1970s, 1980s and 1990s.

The writers of Broadchurch were widely praised by campaigners for raising awareness and, commenting on the effects of the footballers speaking out, Henderson said “Calls to our helpline services have more than doubled following the disclosures of sexual abuse in football,” and this in the space of a number of months. “The footballers having the courage to disclose their abuse has helped thousands of other survivors to come forward and seek support for their abuse. If footballers can be believed, so can we.”

Walder, Meshi-Zahav, Elon

In the religious communities in Israel we have also witnessed a sea-change. High profile cases like Chaim Walder in the haredi community and Mordechai Elon in the national religious community have raised awareness. Where there were few activists and organizations before, there are now a growing body, some of whom are themselves the victims of abuse.

There are also dedicated professionals who see this field as their calling. What started as a Facebook group for haredim to share their stories turned into an organization driving more awareness and action. Started by a small number of dedicated volunteers, Lo Tishtok (literally, Don’t be Silent) became a lightning rod of grass roots action.

Young haredi journalists and activists have also made a real impact. Terrible stories of abuse have been highlighted by haredi journalists integrated within mainstream media, including on television and in print. No doubt this is changing awareness.

Magen is dedicated to creating safer Jewish communities in Israel and around the world, and is a rare instance of organizations joining together to create greater impact. According to CEO Shana Aaronson, there is a huge lack of education and awareness of what the schools should actually do to prevent abuse, or how to act and respond if abuse has happened. “This is even in schools that are interested and care and want to do the right thing. It’s obviously much worse in schools that are not.” However, since these high-profile cases “there has been a major increase in the number of victims seeking our help.”

Aaronson also added that the threat of legal action is also stirring change with schools. While there have only been a small number of successful suits, the threat of more has had its effect.

Allies across the spectrum

Sherer has spent the last decade walking the corridors of power building political allies for the policy changes she believes will make an impact. She has had successes and failures, and not necessarily based on the politics of her various political interlocutors. She has even made the economic case for government action and in talking to Globes recently stated: “It may be cynical to consider the cost of tears, fear, attempted suicides etc., but sometimes what can’t be measured doesn’t get counted.” 

Research carried out in other countries has shown the enormous lifetime cost in welfare, health and other expenses but Sherer claims that “the economic expense resulting from sex abuse is considered taboo.”

The current and immediate past chairmen of the Constitution, Law and Justice Committee of the Knesset, MKs Gilad Kariv and Simcha Rotman could not be further apart politically. Sherer considers both to be allies, and both have given hours of committee time to create and approve critical changes in legislation that assists victims.

It is fashionable to attack current chair, MK Rothman, especially by those in the Center and Left of politics, due to his handling of the legal reform proposals, but Sherer was clear that he deserves significant praise for the way that he made sure to push forward practical measures to help victims of abuse. And yet, she feels that at the strategic level she is continually getting the run around with no one part of the government taking overall responsibility for this complex issue.

Civil society, community leadership and the power of the state need to combine in order to get to grips with the defense of children against sexual predators. Apart from the basic morality of society to take care of the most vulnerable of its members, the vast array of mental and other health and welfare problems are a huge and avoidable burden that the country bears as a cost of not doing so.

The writer is a founding partner of Goldrock Capital and the founder of The Institute for Jewish and Zionist Research. He is a former chair of Gesher, World Bnei Akiva, and the Coalition for Haredi Employment.

 

https://www.jpost.com/opinion/article-746649

Thursday, June 08, 2023

Maryland Governor Signs Child Victims Act of 2023 - “There is no statute of limitations on the hurt that endures for decades after someone is assaulted," Moore, a Democrat, said. "There is no statute of limitations on the trauma that harms so many still to this day, and this law reflects that exact truth.”