by John O'Futzyutz
When I sat down with these three American priests who are well versed in the English language, I was really taken in by their knowledge of Scripture as it relates to the "in-topic" of today, child molestation by the Catholic clergy. The focus quickly shifted to their "older cousins", the Jews, particularly rabbis, for reasons unknown to them, covered up child sexual abuse in their Hebrew schools, summer camps, and houses of worship.
Now I know these three priests well, they would have no reason to change the subject; they are smart, they grew up in orthodox Catholic homes, and clearly believe the Pope as the infallible messenger of god and the other two parts of god's cosmic makeup, Spirit and Son. The pope would never, for example, apologize for child-abuse by thousands of priests, if he was not really sorry. He is so sorry that he moved the "Lipa Margulies" of the Church, Cardinal Bernard Law, to the Vatican, as one of the pope's right hand people. In matter of fact, my Catholic antennae was pricked by this bold decision, borrowing this phrase with permission from my friend, a Jewish journalist in the Jerusalem Post, Jonathan Rosenblum.
The English speaking priests certainly convinced me that they have no reason at all to go against the pope's unambiguous message; if you are ever in doubt about the sexual proclivities of a priest, or about a Cardinal moving priests around from parish to parish; rather than call the police, send him to Rome, they have a great job for him with a lot of different multi-colored hats and shmattes. If you are dumb enough to get caught, deny that any priest ever molested a child, if pressed really hard by an "Enlightened one", say, "yeah, we found out about one who slipped through our fingers, and no we do not sweep or sell rugs, we are not merchants -- but if another child molester does exist, the police may be called."
So that's that, the Pope Hador speaks, the priests listen, we know all that, right?
Wondering what was going on with the Jews, now that I got the alleged priest problem out of the way, I contacted my fellow Yale schoolmate, Jonathan Rosenblum, who I understand became the drugged mouthpiece for ultra-orthodox Jews, especially in Israel.
Jonathan tells me a very similar kind of strange goings-on in the Ramat Bet Shemesh town, a suburb of Jerusalem. He spoke as well to three rabbis (something the Jews and Catholics have in common the number three as in Trinity, as in upsherin, as in moving on Tuesday - yom shlishi (ki tov twice plus one on yom rishon) three portions of cholent at kiddush, three main dishes at Pesach hotels, three dunks in the mikve) --- in that town, and was assured that these parents who claim to have had their child molested in a Hebrew school, was a bunch of cholent poop. Why would these English speaking rabbis lie? What do they have to gain? They care only about the well-being of their congregants and the Jewish community, just like the English speaking rabbis in the U.S.A. They even remember that they asked people to leave town, they can't be sure why, but probably because they molested someone. They even invited an Ohel employee, Dr. Schulman, to address the community on how to mitigate damages from families whose children were allegedly abused by rabbis in schools.
"In 1996, the Village Voice ["A Child's at Stake," by Adam Fifield and Michael Lesher] reported that an Ohel advisory board member, Susan Schulman, commented that she always deferred to rabbinic advice before making a child-abuse report, although she acknowledged that she 'could be arrested' for doing so." [Emphasis added.] This is what's coming to Ramat Bet Shemesh!
And this quote really tickled my fancy; "It is well known that these accusing parents just hate rabbis and don't really care about their children's welfare at all, and would destroy their own kids and drag their families through the mud just for the sake of making rabbis look bad", according to Rosenblum's sources in the ultra-orthodox Jewish community.
In matter of fact Jonathan said, the Jewish pope, so to speak, the greatest rabbi of the generation (96 years young and even remembers his name without a teleprompter), who is schooled in every single area of humanity, decreed that only if rabbis believe child molestation took place, after many meetings by the local rabbis, and a unanimous decision by all the rabbis and zonas in town, and the child is screened by their handpicked Orthodox therapists, with a degree or not, then if none of these people ever used a cell-phone without a hechsher, or shopped in a store without a kosher certificate on all the women's clothing, or sat on a bus where women and men are not separated by a shower curtain, then one may be permitted to go to a shomer Shabbos police station, where every police person eats Rubashkin glatt kosher meat that is not cooked in a Heinemann Kitchen Aid kosher Yom-Tov oven and whose wives do not wear wigs from India.
Now, Jonathan and I go back a long way; I felt ashamed that I would have to ask him this question, but a good journalist must be thorough.
"Jonathan, and when you met with the alleged molested children and their parents, what exactly did they tell you?"
"Well John", he said, "after taking to the three rabbis, why would I need to talk to the victims and their parents?"
In fact Rosenblum permitted me to use his quote in the Jerusalem Post as the new "gospel" for the Jewish community.....
"The rabbis' preference for working behind the scenes derives not from a desire to sweep problems under the rug, but from a considered philosophy about what is best for victims, their families and the community. The knowledge that incidents will be publicized can keep victims or their parents from coming forward. In addition, publicity can lead to hysteria in which parents become convinced that their children are at great risk in school. (In fact, more abuse takes place within families or involves older children as perpetrators.)"
Now, even me being a "Goy" knows this is the new lying Shafran-Schick-Salomon limerick coming from the Torah Giants of America, certainly expected to make a huge splash to the English and Yiddish speaking members of the Jewish community worldwide. Perhaps it may even wind up in a radio commercial.
Jonathan, even the Goyim are ashamed of you!