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Ah, the Haredim. Israel’s spiritual backbone. The true warriors in black and white. While the rest of the nation scrambles into bomb shelters, watches their children draft into combat, and wonders whether they’ll come home in one piece, the Haredi community is engaged in a far more harrowing battle: dodging national responsibility.
Let us take a moment to appreciate their courage—the courage to do absolutely nothing in a time of crisis. While soldiers sleep on rocky ground in Gaza, Haredi yeshiva students valiantly battle sleep over a gemara, in heated debates about the precise definition of pikuach nefesh (saving a life)—as long as it’s their own.
In times of war, the country is supposed to come together. But the Haredim know better. Why unify when you can spiritualize? While sirens wail, they heroically declare, “Our Torah learning protects the soldiers.” Yes, it’s the learning—not the tanks, not the air force, not the intelligence units—that keeps the rockets from falling. Someone tell Iron Dome to stop showing off.
Meanwhile, Israeli mothers cry as they send their sons to the front. Haredi rabbis cry too—as they craft yet another public letter reminding their followers to stay far, far away from any hint of national service. Their sacrifice? The unbearable agony of watching others risk their lives for the country that feeds, houses, and protects them.
And what about their contribution to the war effort? Excellent question. They contribute prayers—though only for themselves. And they contribute opinions—usually about how the secular government should be replaced by a Torah-based theocracy where, surprise surprise, they hold all the power and none of the draft cards.
But perhaps the real tragedy is how misunderstood they are. All they want is to be left alone, receive generous stipends, dodge taxes, get married at 18, and have ten children—all while never lifting a finger to defend the country they claim to love. Is that so wrong?
After all, in their eyes, war is punishment for Zionist arrogance. If only we were more like them—unemployed, unaccountable, and blissfully ignorant—God might finally bless us with peace.
So let us salute these brave heroes of the back benches. As missiles fall and soldiers bleed, they march boldly… to the nearest bakery. A cinnamon rugelach and a shir shel yom await—far more comforting than a helmet and rifle.
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| REPUBLISHED IN THE TIMES OF ISRAEL |
https://blogs.timesofisrael.com/a-tribute-to-haredi-heroism-in-wartime/