![]() |
I personally urge all parents to contact Ms. Bracha Goetz's website and order this book and the many others of great importance! Link below. Paul Mendlowitz
|
How to speak about the hard truth of child abuse
Acknowledging abuse within our closest circles is excruciating, but silence is an absolute betrayal. Our children’s futures depend on our willingness to shatter the silence.
In child protection, the greatest liability is the silence. For months, as families across Israel sought refuge from geopolitical conflict, children were confined to bomb shelters and closed quarters. While these spaces offered physical shielding from the outside world, for many vulnerable children, they became pressure cookers of private terror. At ELI – Israel Association for Child Protection, we knew that a silent wave was building.
Now, the floodgates have officially opened. As children have left the shelters and returned to their school desks, ELI has witnessed a staggering doubling in the number of child abuse cases. The classroom has once again become the ultimate front line of discovery; it is where the vast majority of these cases are finally brought to light.
Schools Are Often the First Safe Place
When the routine of school resumes, the defense mechanisms built during isolation begin to crack. Our teachers, school counselors, and administrators are trained to spot these shifts. They are the eyes and ears of a critical societal safety net, uniquely positioned to notice a child’s sudden regression, behavioral changes, or explicit disclosures. ELI has comprehensive programs actively working within the educational system to ensure these professionals can act immediately.
But the safety net cannot end at the school gates. The hardest, most uncomfortable reality we must face is that we must learn the vocabulary to address threats inside our own living rooms.
Historically, child abuse in our society was met with institutional and cultural denial. There is the protective but dangerous narrative that "such things simply do not happen in our community." Today, that denial manifests as a powerful desire among family members to hide what is often hard to believe and deeply embarrassing for the family.
The Hardest Conversations Often Happen at Home
When a child drops a hint, or when behavioral warning signs appear at home, parents often experience a paralyzing cognitive dissonance. The instinct to protect the family’s reputation or to shield oneself from an agonizing truth frequently overrides the imperative to investigate.
We must dismantle this stigma. Transparency breaks the cycle. If we do not speak the hard truth, we leave the child completely isolated in their pain, reinforcing the abuser’s power.
Giving Children the Language to Speak
To combat this stigma, child protection must adapt. Through school-based prevention programs that use an 'edutainment,' a play or musical about the issue of child abuse, ELI gives children the language to recognize and name abuse, before a "bad secret" becomes a life-long scar. We teach them the difference between a good surprise and a toxic secret. But adults need this vocabulary just as desperately. Parents must learn to ask direct, non-judgmental questions, to actively listen without reacting in anger or disbelief, and to prioritize a child's safety over familial pride.
Acknowledging abuse within our closest circles is excruciating, but silence is an absolute betrayal. As we navigate the complex trauma of our current reality, let us commit to radical transparency. Look closely, listen fiercely, and speak up. Our children’s futures depend on our willingness to shatter the silence.
Eran
Zimrin is the CEO of ELI – Israel Association for Child Protection,
founded in 1979 to prevent and treat child abuse in Israel. To learn
more or support our mission, visit eli-usa.org.
https://www.jpost.com/health-and-wellness/mind-and-spirit/article-897150
*
I personally urge all parents to contact Ms. Bracha Goetz's website and order this book and the many others of great importance! Link below.
Paul Mendlowitz
Growing I.M.P.A.C.T. Publications
PRE-ORDER NEW RELEASE: My Special Body: A First Book About Personal Safety
https://www.growingimpactpublications.com/
Protecting kids doesn't require scary talks. Simple, calm conversations woven into everyday moments can give children the language, confidence, and awareness to keep themselves safe.
Not long ago, conversations about child safety, especially those involving personal boundaries, were largely absent from many Jewish homes and classrooms. The silence was not born of indifference, but of discomfort, uncertainty, and a deep desire to preserve childhood innocence.
Parents wanted to protect their children. They just weren’t sure how to begin.
For years, the prevailing assumption was that speaking to young children about personal safety might frighten them or expose them to concepts they were not ready to process. And yet, as awareness slowly grew about the realities children can face, even within familiar environments, it became clear that silence carried its own risks.
One of the most important realizations to emerge over time is this: children do not need to be frightened in order to be empowered.
In fact, the most effective safety education often looks surprisingly gentle.
Rather than dramatic warnings, it can take the form of calm, age-appropriate conversations woven into everyday life. A parent helping a child get dressed, a discussion before a doctor’s visit, a reminder during swim time—these ordinary moments can become opportunities to build a child’s awareness of their own body, their boundaries, and their voice.
These conversations don’t need to feel forced or dramatic; ordinary daily interactions can naturally become opportunities to build a child’s lifelong awareness of personal safety.
Those involved in developing early resources for these conversations have witnessed this shift firsthand, watching as what once felt like unfamiliar territory gradually became part of the broader educational landscape in Jewish homes and classrooms.
Another important shift has been the understanding that safety education is not a one-time conversation, but an ongoing process. Just as we revisit other areas of health and wellbeing as our children grow, personal safety can be addressed in small, thoughtful increments, with language that evolves alongside a child’s maturity.
Experts increasingly emphasize that even very young children can begin learning simple, foundational ideas: that their bodies are their own, that certain areas are private, and that they can speak up if something doesn’t feel right. These messages, when delivered with warmth and clarity, do not burden children; they strengthen them.
Perhaps most significantly, communities have begun to recognize that these conversations are not in conflict with our values, but an expression of them.
Teaching children to respect their bodies and trust their inner sense of discomfort aligns deeply with a broader commitment to dignity, responsibility, and care for one another. Protecting children is not only about responding to danger; it is about equipping them, in age-appropriate ways, with the tools they need to navigate the world safely.
Today, something has shifted.
Parents, educators, and mental health professionals are increasingly working together to create resources that make these conversations more accessible. What once felt daunting is becoming more natural.
Safeguarding children begins not with fear, but with clarity and gentle, open communication.
By giving children simple language, by inviting their questions, and by reassuring them that they can always come to us, we are protecting them and strengthening their sense of self, helping to build a culture where safety, trust, and dignity are paramount.


