Thursday, March 01, 2018

Agudath Israel Leaders Historic Meeting On Child Rape In Their Community - "Transcript" Rabbi Perlow Chairman...

JP - Perlow - CDZ - Zweibel - AS - Aron Schechter - SK - Shmuel Kaminetzky - AF - Aron Feldman - MK - Malkiel Kotler - ASS - Avi Shafran

JP - Good Shabbos!
CDZ - Hmmm Rebbe, it's Sunday...
JP - I meant Shabbos for the Goyim.
AS- How come there's no strawberry cheesecake on the table here before Shavuos?
Gertzulin - Couldn't squeeze DeBlasio for the funds. We got gun licenses though...
SK- Where's Belsky?
CDZ - He's dead, why?
SK - I think there are bugs in the sponge cake.
CDZ - Belsky did bugs in water.
ASS - What should I write about this meeting?
CDZ - That it was a big success, and bloggers are not real Jews.
AS - They need a good beating at Jamaica - Tranquility Bay!
SK - Takeh, I agree with you Schechter on this one.
Yossi Frankel - The grapes are terrible. Tastes like the diluted drugs from my brother in law, Yankel Rabinowitz, the Dinover.
MK - We have better cantaloupe in Lakewood.
AF - Moshe Eisemann is not doing well, he has arthritis in his hands.
Dovid Feinstein - My brother Reuvein wants me to bring him any leftover honey cake.
JP - It's hard for me to sit, look at me, the Preparation H is not working well today.
CDZ - What's our official position on Trump, should we ask his daughter to give a Perek shiur at Camp Agudah this summer for the counselors?
JP - Call Hershel Schechter from a throw away cell phone, ask him if Ivanka is familiar with (his) Perek.
WERDIGER  - I asked my cousin Mordecha to be mechadesh a political pareve nigun so we can play both sides in the election - whoever wins, we can claim it was because of us.
Bim bom bim bom -- Orange sheitlach is a gute zach, blondeh kurvas iz a besser zach, varft avek yeden yar, kishen tuches nuch un nuch, orange sheitlach iz a gute zach.
ASS - Anyone here capable of staying awake on Shavuos night? What are they serving in your shuls? Why are all of you all falling asleep now, wait until Shavuos night?

JP - Avi Shafran, prune juice in my shul.
MK - The Real Estate Market in Lakewood is booming. We now own millions of dollars in property free and clear, thanks to Elly Kleinman and his new shiksa from Mexico. In exchange, no wall around  Lakewood, New Jersey will be built, we shmeared Greenblatt over at Trump's office. Part of this "beautiful" agreement is that Kleinman's new child and shiksa will not be deported. Daas Toirah and yashrus dictates that we change the name on the "Kleinman Building" to "The Kleinman/Gonzales Building", no?
JP - I say yes, ASS/Shafran, you need to come up with a piece for the Forward why this is solely to improve race relations in America. It would be good if he also had a shvartze kid...The Forward would love it. "The Kleinman/Gonzales/Obama" division of the Agudath Israel of America would be right here at 42 Broadway.
SK - This is something that Moshe Sherer would have milked the government for for many million$.
CDZ - What's that smell in here? Aron Schechter - are you full of it? Again?
JP -  Anyone here have pictures of their aineklach? . We want to talk about the children, right?
ASS - Give a look, they look like me.
SK - Baruch mishane habriyos.



Uncle Joe said...

LOL, back to your evil ways, UOJ?
Be careful, most rabbis are very makpid on loshon nekiya. Gotta know which ass to lick!

Yankee Shtroodle said...

Sadly, I fear that some of the real FRESSER banter is not all that different than this parody.

Are these two details part of the joke or are they true?

Vayelepoler Frankel is shvogger of the Dinover embezzler?

Kleinman is now getting some Mexican on the side instead of Oriental?

Lukshen Kugel said...

Yes and yes to shtrudel.

Monsey said...

New pedophile in Monsey


Shimon Mosbacher arrested by the Rockland County Sheriff for 3rd degree criminal sex act on child younger than 17, a Class E felony, and endangering the welfare of a child.

Two addresses come up for him, 48 Carlton Rd & 5 Carlton Lane.


He appears to be the son of Moshe Mosbacher who suddenly resigned as President of the 47th St Diamond Dealers Club when they started investigating financial improprieties with Club money under his control. One question involved $100,000 of Club money that he allegedly "loaned" himself.


Picture of Moshe Mosbacher

Skverrorist said...

Spitzer was arrested for the first arson attack on Rottenberg

Aron Fromowitz was arrested for the second


Here is Fromowitz for later court dates when he grew back his beard


At the time of his arrest he was clean shaven in an effort to elude police

Anonymous said...

Rabbonim cover up for child rapist Nachman Yitzchok Burstein


Maariv article on rapes of relatives


Haaretz article that Burstein also molested kids in the cheder where he was a melamed




Burstein cover up letters from:

R' Yaakov Meir Schechter - Rosh yeshivas Shaar Hashomayim
Rachmestrivker Rebbe
R' Tzvi Meyer Zilberberg - Rosh yeshivas Nachalas Yaakov (grandson of R' Gedalya Schorr)
Lelover Rebbe
R' Boruch Nosson Halberstam - Kiviashder Dayan
R' Yosef Binyomin Wosner - Satmar London Dayan
R' Yosef Padwa - Kedassia Dayan
R' Aryeh Weiss - Vizhnitz London
R' Dovid Hager - - Vizhnitz London
R' Zev Feldman - Etz Chaim London
R' Avrohom Yosef Rubinfeld - Khal Charedim London
R' Bentzion Blum - Bobov London Dayan
R' Sholom Friedman - Kedassia Dayan

Tort Putz Pro-fresser Aaron Twerski said...


Molester Yona Weinberg knows he can't scare UOJ so he is ganging up on Eidensohn instead, threatening him to erase all the information about him.

BigDave said...

Dear uoj, I nominate you for an Oscar's in best comedy of the year, This is hilarious.

All kidding aside it's a sad state of affairs we are in.

BigDave said...


The ganuvim at vaad harabunim that spent money to pay the legal bills of the roitzeiach maklev, are finally being uncovered for the ganuvim they are, anyone still donating to them should have their head checked.

Anonymous said...

Is this the tuna beigel online meeting place? You guys are illiterate numb boreheads, with nothing better to do. If another holocaust comes...God forbid, look no further than your fat bastions for the reason. Do some history research on your secret phones(instead of watching pornography) and figure out why Nazi Germany happened.

James Apple said...

The words “goyim and “shiksa” need to be banned. They are highly pejorative and an insult to people of other faiths. Jews who use these terms lack emotional intelligence.

Mel Atonin said...

All true, UOJ, just pedophile Moshe Eisemann has little more than "arthritis in his hands" -- he had a little stroke a couple of years ago. Now the community surrounded him with Southern warmth and care: He has personal shamoshim, congregations always wait on him to finish prayers in the yeshiva and town, and he still learns/f**ks yeshiva boys, making them "closer to Hashem." You know, I stopped believing in God when realized that It usually does nothing to punish real criminals in this world. I know fundamentalists will argue that God is paying bad guys here on Earth, and if good folks suffer that's because their share in the future world increases. Gosh, I hate these false justifications so much... I just heard someone was raped again at Ner Yisroel over Purim... and they talk about morality and values... Hate all of them... Every single leader and their buttlickers....

Anonymous said...

This morning they announced the death of Paula Eisemann, Moshe Eisemann's wife...

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

The rabbi of "Congregation Sons of Israel" in Lakewood where the funeral of Paula Eisemann takes place is Shmuel M. Tendler...