The inevitable role technology will continue to play in our lives and exploring how to both protect against its dangers and fully utilize its benefits. A denial of reality will only lead to misguided responses, outdated strategies and squandered opportunities, as we continue to fight yesterday’s battles without addressing today’s urgent needs. The power of technology is not in gizmos and gadgets, but in the fundamental restructuring of social patterns and the opportunities it provides for us to serve our community in vastly more effective ways....

 

Dr. Yitzchak Schechter

Breathing Life into the Golem of Technology

 

It is both obvious and an understatement to say that technology permeates every aspect of our lives. It is equally clear to me that in order for our community to continue its development, creativity, growth and the deepening of our religious and communal life we need not only to be conscious of technology but to embrace it in all its forms. While this may sound contrary to the reigning religious oeuvre of today, it is far from it. We all fly in airplanes, get medical procedures, use the telephone, use timers for electricity, drive cars and benefit from technology despite the great fears and potential prohibitions that were first cast on these emerging technologies. This is already playing out the same way with the Internet and new technologies we use for our work, household management and even learning.

This next wave of technology is no different; our job is to somehow arrive at the new normal and adjust to that equilibrium. Since technology is here to stay, we must attempt to understand the role it now plays in our lives – including its effect on our psychological functioning and on our families and relationships – and the change it has brought to our communities and to our society. The future religious stability and growth of our community is dependent upon our acknowledging the inevitable role of technology and exploring how to both protect against its dangers and fully utilize its benefits. A denial of reality will only lead to misguided responses, outdated strategies and squandered opportunities, as we continue to fight yesterday’s battles without addressing today’s urgent needs. Similarly, as often happens with topics that appear too big to address, the impulse is to avoid or deny the issue completely, with a net effect of reduced parental, educational and clinical involvement. This result has already been observed in some of the “digital life” research conducted by the Institute for Applied Research and Community Collaboration (ARCC, a group under my direction), which found that children report less adult guidance about their use of technology and social media than expected, even in communities that place great value on internet safety.

This article explores how individuals, families and communities can safely and effectively embrace technology as a powerful and positive tool that can be effectively employed with creativity and vision for the benefit of both individuals and the community. I write this at the intersection of my role as a psychologist and director of a large behavioral health clinic, serving yeshivas, parents, rabbonim and the community, and as the founding director of ARCC, a research organization dedicated to understanding the experience of the frum community and using technology and science to inform and provide actionable guidance to its community stakeholders.

A New Era

It is far from hollow rhetoric to say that we stand at the threshold, or, perhaps just inside the doorway, of a new era, in which technology has created a new metzius (reality). It must be emphasized that the power of technology is not in gizmos and gadgets. It is in the fundamental restructuring of social patterns it has brought about and the opportunities it provides to be mechadesh (innovate) in powerful new ways, potentially revolutionizing our approach to what can be accomplished – both in learning about the true needs of the klal and in developing strategies to meet those needs....

Changes in technology and society are happening at an increasingly fast clip. Our community must take note of the impact of these changes on even the most basic of concerns as how to guide our children in preparing to earn a livelihood. Technology has caused the elimination of not only jobs, but even of entire industries. Skill sets once integral are replaced by others, and training for the contemporary needs of the workforce must continually be studied. Is the community’s educational system adjusting to the challenges of the future workforce?

In considering the many dimensions of the great opportunities and challenges we face with technology, there is one principle we must keep in mind if our children are going to benefit from any wisdom we might hope to acquire and transmit: Are we leading by example? Here, perhaps more than any other area, children are entirely dependent on the messages they receive and behaviors they observe in the adults in their lives if they are to find their own way in managing the unyielding demands of the various devices around them. If their parents are not managing well, with strength and direction, how will they fare and with which strength will they cope? “Do as I say, not as I do” is a failed message in any context, but experience indicates it is even worse when it comes to technology. In fact, in our study of technology in yeshiva students, we found that parents are far and away the largest single source of information and guidance regarding the Internet and technology, yet only a small percentage of students report their parents speaking to them directly, or providing any guidelines, about technology and its use.

WORTH READING IN ITS ENTIRETY:

For the entire issue, visit www.klalperspectives.org.

“Sexual abuse in education is the clergy-abuse crisis of this decade, if not this century, and you’re going to see more and more of it”...

Anne Scott, at the Cambridge. Mass., office of her lawyer, Eric MacLeish. Ms. Scott said she had been sexually molested and raped while a student at St. George’s School in Rhode Island. Credit Suzanne Kreiter/Boston Globe

 40 Alumni Assert Sexual Abuse at a Rhode Island Prep School - The scope of the scandal at St. George’s School in Rhode Island expands with reports covering three decades.

BOSTON — The scope of a sexual abuse scandal at St. George’s School in Rhode Island widened substantially on Tuesday as lawyers reported that at least 40 former students had made credible reports of sexual abuse, and in some cases rape, by seven former staff members and four students over three decades.

At the same time, a spokesman for the school, which had made public its own investigation late last month, now characterized that investigation as “preliminary” and said that it would soon name who would be carrying the investigation forward. “The work remains ongoing,” the school said in a statement.

Lawyers for the victims said that the abuse took place from 1974 through 2004. Four of the seven former staff members are still alive, and in at least two cases appear to be working in settings with young people. None have been charged criminally.

Continue reading the main story

Related Coverage 

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  Rhode Island Prep School Expresses ‘Sorrow and Shame’ Over Sexual AbuseDEC. 24, 2015

Together, the school’s report, which said that staff members sexually abused 26 students in the 1970s and’80s, and the lawyers’ reports of some 40 total victims, paint a picture of unchecked sexual misconduct at the elite prep school in Middletown.

“The magnitude and scope of this is already approaching the largest private school sexual abuse case that we’ve seen, which was at Horace Mann, where 62 victims came forward,” said Eric MacLeish, a lawyer who, with Carmen L. Durso, is representing some of the victims. The accusations at the Horace Mann School came to light in 2012.

Capt. Matthew Moynihan of the Rhode Island State Police confirmed an investigation into accusations forwarded by the school and by the lawyers, and said the police were encouraging anyone to come forward who was either a victim or a witness. The school is an Episcopal boarding and day school for boys and girls in grades 9 through 12.

The lawyers and three of the victims said at a news conference here that the school’s report presented a sanitized version of sexual abuse at the school, which they likened to that of the Roman Catholic Church; although some of those accused of the abuse were fired, the school has acknowledged that it did not report suspects to the authorities or alert their subsequent employers.

“Sexual abuse in education is the clergy-abuse crisis of this decade, if not this century, and you’re going to see more and more of it,” Mr. Durso said.

He and Mr. MacLeish predicted that more victims would come forward, but said that just as the clergy abuse scandal unfolded over many years, some victims may take a long time reacting to events that were disturbing and in some cases life-changing.

Mr. Durso said the Massachusetts legislature was considering what is commonly called a “pass the trash” bill. It refers to schools passing on problematic teachers to new schools without reporting problems, including those that might put others in jeopardy. The bill would make it a crime to fail to report a complaint of sexual misconduct in public and private schools.

There is no evidence of continuing sexual misconduct at St. George’s, the lawyers said, but some of the victims are calling for Eric Peterson, the head of school, to resign. They say he did not take seriously the complaints from some alumni who came forward.

One of the victims, Harry Groome, 52, a 1982 graduate who said he was raped by another student in front of other students, said at the news conference that he wanted Mr. Peterson to resign because he had been unresponsive to complaints.

“Eric Peterson has been covering this up since 2004, my issue as well as others,” Mr. Groome said.

In a statement, the school indicated that Mr. Peterson would not resign and said that he had supported a “vigorous investigation of alleged sexual abuse” and had demonstrated compassion and empathy to those who had come forward.

In a separate statement, the school apologized for the harm done, adding that “the way in which the school addressed these incidents has served to compound this harm.”

The school’s report identified only one of the accused by name. He was Al Gibbs, an athletic trainer, who was fired in 1980 after multiple reports of sexual molestation and at least one rape.

The school’s report referred to two others as “employee perpetrator #2” and “employee perpetrator #3.”

But on Tuesday, Mr. MacLeish, matching victims’ accounts with the school’s report, identified them as the Rev. Dr. Howard White, a former assistant chaplain, who left the school in 1974 after reports of sexual contact with at least three boys, and Franklin Coleman, a former choir director fired in 1988 after accusations of sexually molesting several boys.

Mr. MacLeish said it was important to identify them because he believes they still had access to minors. The names were given to the state police, and neither has been charged.

The school’s investigation said that Tony Zane, then the head of school, confronted Mr. White, whom it called “employee perpetrator #2, and that he “admitted to the misconduct” and abruptly left in 1974.

Another student, William MacNamara, told the lawyers that Mr. White had repeatedly molested and raped him.

Reached on Tuesday at his home in Bedford, Pa., Mr. White said: “I don’t have any response. It’s news to me.” Asked if he was fired because of accusations of sexual misconduct, he said, “That isn’t really true.”

Asked again if he had faced accusations of sexual improprieties, he said, “I’m not saying anything.”

The school’s investigation of Mr. Coleman, whom it called “employee perpetrator #3,” said he was fired after reportedly engaging in sexual misconduct with at least three students, including groping them.

Mr. Coleman was met Tuesday by a reporter in Newark as he left his home. He repeatedly answered “no comment” when asked about the accusations. Asked if he had abused students at the school or if he denied the accusations, he said, “No comment.”

Asked specifically about accusations made by a former student, Hawk Cramer, he said, “Talk to my lawyer.” He did not provide the lawyer’s name.

http://www.nytimes.com/2016/01/06/us/40-alumni-assert-sexual-abuse-at-a-rhode-island-prep-school.html?emc=edit_tnt_20160105&nlid=32999454&tntemail0=y

The Religious Man To Whom The Rules Don’t Apply......

How To Spot A Spiritual Sexual Predator

By Chaya Kurtz • January 4, 2016 • Essay

 

Specifically one who is dressed in the garb of a guru, religious leader, or activist: A guide for Jewish women (and other women too).

 

The talk of the town last week was about a New York Times profile of an (accused) rapist/serial womanizer/wife-abuser ex-rabbi who essentially got kicked out of the Jewish world and has successfully resurrected himself as a new-age guru. His name is Marc Gafni, and I actually know/know-people-who-know women whom he messed with. I heard about him years ago at a Shabbos table — some people who had left his sphere of influence were discussing his move to Boulder and said, “I don’t know why he keeps trying to work in the Jewish world. He should go to the new age — they don’t care about sexual propriety.” Apparently he had the same idea.

It surprises me not an iota that a sexual predator would become a prominent new-age guru. The guru-student relationship is fertile land for sexual misbehavior to flourish in. There are too many guru sexual predators to list, but I’ll highlight a few who were exposed relatively recently: John Friend of Anusara Yoga, Bikram Choudury of Bikram Yoga, Eido Shimano Roshi of New York Zen Studies Society, Joshu Sasaki Roshi of Rinzai-ji, Swami Shankarananda of Shiva School Of Meditation And Yoga, and Doug Phillips of Vision Forum.

They’re not just gurus. There are also mystics, sensitive new age guys, extremely “spiritual” people who are actually lowlifes, and activists/idealists who are in it for the booty. There are certain things they do; certain men they are. Look out for:

The Spiritual Man Who Thinks You’re Special: You are a light in the darkness to him. He is your teacher, and he sees soooooo much brilliance and potential in you. You are what he needs, and he is what you need — spiritually, of course. Or he wants to personally help you. You, more than anyone, are worth his precious spiritual energy and time.

The Spiritual Man Who Wants To See You Outside Of Class: Why would a charismatic, “enlightened” man want to see you outside of class? Why would he invite you into his home, into his inner-circle, into his family, or to his most exclusive retreats? Because he wants to do something inappropriate and he’s getting you used to being alone with him.

The Man Who Wants To Spiritually Connect With You — Through Your Body: This guy can take any scripture of any spiritual tradition and twist it to convincingly to mean that spiritual connection is best experienced through sexual connection. Selling teenagers into prostitution? Having multiple wives and mistresses? He’s got scripture to back it up.

The Spiritual Man Who Pierces You With His Eyes: His gaze is unbelievably powerful. When he looks at you, you swear he can see right to your soul. Why do they always pierce you with their eyes? It’s a move of control and dominance. I once had a creepy swami try to pierce me with his eyes, and I left his ashram within 10 minutes.

The Spiritual Man Who Wants To Touch You: Eyes on you turns into hands on you. He’s so spiritual that he wants to heal you hands-on. Or he invites you in for a private session only to reach up your shirt. Since he thinks he’s G-d, he feels entitled to your body. Question what he’s doing and he’ll back it up with scripture, or explain to you that it’s part of the teacher-student relationship.

The Spiritual Man Whose Love And Non-Attachment Are Superior To Everyone Else’s: He challenges you to be strong enough to handle his love. He’s not sure if you have what it takes to be loved by him, and he wants you to prove it. And/or he is a master of non-attachment. He wants to prove how good he is at not getting attached by getting intimate with you and not giving a crap. He convinces you that you are weak because you have human feelings, and he is strong and enlightened because he is a master of non-attachment. He’s not a womanizer — he’s just really good at not getting attached!

The Humble Man Who Talks About Himself — A Lot: I’ve met way too many of these guys. All conversations lead back to him. He is so humble that he doesn’t even have his own possessions or home — instead, he’s going to mooch off of you and other women. Counter something he says, and he’s going to throw the humble card at you: If you don’t agree with him (or you don’t flatter him), you’re arrogant. Since he is so humble, you are assaulting him by disagreeing with him.

The Very, Very Sensitive New Age Guy: This man has feelings. His feelings are very strong. You must never hurt his feelings, though he is free to hurt yours. He is a master of using psycho-babble and “non-violent communication”. You make him feel a certain way — he is never responsible for controlling his own feelings.

The Religious Man To Whom The Rules Don’t Apply: He sure knows all the rules. He can recite them backward and forward, in multiple languages (Sanskrit! Hebrew! Hindi!). He is fastidious in tiny details that inconvenience other people (his special way of washing his hands! his special diet!), but when it comes to, you know, like, not raping people, the rules don’t apply to him. His spiritual position entitles him to exploit you however he wants to!

The Crusader For Justice Who Makes You Feel Dumb: This man knows everything about justice. He knows the key to world peace. He quotes Marx, Mandela, and Maimonides in the same sentence. He knows Angela Davis personally. If there was a big protest, he was not only there but he was on the front lines fighting the cops and he has a scar on his inner thigh that he wants to show you to prove it. This man is committed to The Cause above all. So lofty is his goal that he doesn’t need to be nice to regular people like you. He can be nasty, denigrating, rude — all in the name of The Cause. Call him out on it and you’re siding with the oppressor.

The Married Man Who Tells His Marital Problems To You: This spiritual master has a spiritual advisor — a very famous guru — but even that guru can’t empathize with his marital problems. Thank the goddess that you can, though. It turns out that in every way that his wife lacks, you are just brimming over. Why can’t his wife be more like you, he asks you.

The Enlightened Man Who Tells You All About How Men & Women Are Supposed To Relate To Each Other/How Women Should Be: This guy is an expert on gender. He knows every religious or spiritual reason why women should be subservient to men. He presents his “knowledge” as absolute truth. If you don’t relate to him on his terms, he’ll educate you on how to be a better woman. He’s on a special mission to teach very young women (even girls) how to be women.

The Clergy Man/Guru Who Wants Your Money: He can convince almost anyone (and especially women) to financially support his “mission”. If it’s not by promising salvation if you give him money, it’s by inviting you to very, very expensive retreats. Want private healing sessions or lessons in spiritual practice? One way or another, you’ll pay for them.

Anybody Who Ideologically Justifies Polyamory: If he’s really “progressive”, this man can quote The Ethical Slut. And since his predecessors in his spiritual lineage had multiple wives, certainly he should have them. While he is free to enjoy his spiritually-sanctioned dalliances, you’re in big trouble if he even thinks you’re cheating on him. After all, it’s Tantra! Or it’s Christianity! Or Abraham had more than one wife! He has so much spiritual mojo that he is simply gifting it to all the women he’s intimate with. How dare you refuse his gift!?

The Healer Who Has A Special Treatment Just For You: This man has identified that something is wrong with you. There is something wrong with you that only he has identified because he is so enlightened. It is critical that he, and only he, heal you. What? Having sex with him is part of the treatment? How surprising!

A final word: These creepy guys are out there in droves, and almost everyone who is involved in religion and/or spirituality will meet one at some point. Nobody who is on a high spiritual level will pressure you for sex. Period. People who are genuine spiritual teachers or activists will speak to you respectfully. Full stop. There is a big difference between being wowed by the intelligent way a man speaks and being treated respectfully by that man. Trust your gut. If you feel uncomfortable, get out.

http://hevria.com/chaya/how-to-spot-a-sexual-preditor/

BUYER BEWARE:

EXCLUSIVE: Rabbi Mendel Morosow, a Crown Heights Lubavitcher, speaks to COLlive about his "intuitive powers" used by thousands - including rabbis and mashpiim, and why he kept them secret for years.

Rabbi Mendel Morosow, Uses Powers to Heal

R' Mendel, how did you discover this "intuitive" or "empathic" healing powers?
For many years, my wife and I had no children. We went to all kinds of doctors, including highly recommended experts on alternative medicine. A homeopath noticed I could sense the effects of the remedies he was suggesting, and asked whether I could sense details about him and his family. With great reluctance, I described what came to mind, and he said I was right on target.

How did you feel about it?
I was the biggest skeptic! I come from a rational, intellectual background. But I began to see it was true; I really could discern things about people, feel the root of their problems and how they might be helped.

Did you notice this ability before?
Actually, throughout my life, I seemed to pick up on people's moods or feel their aches and pains, without realizing what it was. I didn't realize it was the states of other people that I was experiencing. I thought it was me.

That must have been strange...
It was indeed confusing. I understood various situations intuitively, but learned not to talk about it, because others laughed at me: How could a youngster know things that required real life experience? So I learned to keep my mouth shut.

When did you start actually developing this talent, instead of hiding it?
That homeopath asked for my help in order to get a better reading of some of his clients. Sometimes he asked me to use my energy to "deliver" a remedy to them.

How does this work in practice?
When I "tune in" to people, I sense things about them. I might see an image, or actual words run through my mind. Sometimes I just "know" something – I have no idea from where. For instance, I may see a place or object, or feel some emotion.

What sort of problems can you help?
I've helped with all sorts of problems: health, emotional issues, shalom bayis, chinuch, parnassa and business decisions, and many shidduchim issues. Of course, if it's a serious health issue, I tell them to visit a doctor, as well.

When you get a call, how do you approach the issue?
My approach is two-fold: First, I ask the person to describe his or her problem in brief. Then I "tune in" to see what might be causing it. Even if it's a health issue, sometimes it has a psychological or emotional basis.

Can't you tell automatically what the problem is?
I could, in theory, but people may have several issues, and it's best when they tell me which one to focus on. Also, using intuition requires mental energy, which I would rather save for addressing the problem itself.

What comes next?
After identifying the source of a problem, I get a sense of how to fix it.

And how do fix it? What do you do in actuality?
It can be any of a few options. It could be as simple as recommending a change in routine or advice that an outsider might think of commonsense. Often I feel something is wrong in the tefilin or mezuzos, so I advise getting them checked by an expert sofer. Or I focus energy on a problem to correct it.

A spiritual technique?
No. I don't feel that my intuition itself is ruchnius and never did any training or took any courses or studied "healing." Rather it's an ability to "pick up" and understand reality, like radio waves traveling to a cell phone – definitely something physical, not spiritual. Various themes discussed in Chassidus may make this easier to understand, but the actual ability is not necessarily spiritual.

Have you had Halachic concerns?
I have asked Rabbonim whether I may use this ability and talent. Those of them familiar with the concept told me I'm allowed to use it, especially in order to help people. However, I try to keep away from sensing the future, as that can get complicated from a Halachic point of view.

Do you have reservations about giving advice on what to do about serious matters?
Naturally, dealing with serious personal issues is a huge responsibility, and I can't honestly accept responsibility for people's life decisions. I can only ask leading questions, give suggestions and encouragement, and hope to point people in a good direction.

For example, a client once traveled overseas, where he checked out certain properties with an eye to investment. He called me – giving the places nicknames, because I don't need addresses – and I told him something bothered me about one property, which seemed to be on the border between neighborhoods. My client returned to check on it in the evening and discovered that, although it was in a good neighborhood, it was close to a bad one, and at night it became a noisy hangout, with music blasting and neighbors complaining the noise disturbed their sleep. When he told me about another place, I felt it to be full of sunshine, with young couples moving in, a neighborhood that was up and coming. He found that too to be true.

But wouldn't anyone with real estate buying experience have noticed all that?
Indeed, and many of my ideas turn out to be plain common sense. The difference is that for an expert in the field it's common sense, while with me it's pure intuition. Besides, that investor lived far from those places, so he wouldn't have time to check them thoroughly. He might have missed the clues, so he was glad he had asked me.

How many people have approached you for advice?
Over the 10 years I've been doing this, I've probably had thousands of cases, including thousands involving tefilin and mezuzos. I have helped many, many members of the worldwide Lubavitcher community, as anyone can ascertain by asking around. My clients have included prominent rabbonim from communities around the world and mashpiim. Rabbi Manis Friedman, for example, has referred people to me.

How much time do you spend with clients?
Usually it's up to the individual. Some need just a few minutes, especially if they get straight to the point and immediately follow my advice, in which case they soon see results. Others need more time, particularly if they don't immediately follow my advice, in which case they'll keep coming back. I also work over the phone, which adds a layer of privacy and helps people feel more at ease. After discussing the problem with them, I may continue thinking about them, sending them "energy" to help with the problem. At the beginning of Likutei Diburim, the Rebbe RaYYaTz explains that thinking about someone can help him.

What is your success rate?
Boruch Hashem, I have been blessed with abundant success. I've never taken the time to measure it in exact numbers, but great numbers of people feel they have been helped and their problems resolved. The fact that I get many referrals from previous clients is the best testimony.

Can you give examples of your success?
I have hundreds of stories, some of them really amazing.

A teenager once told me his ankle gave him constant severe pain, for which he needed an operation. From across the table, I focused energy on him for a few minutes, and he told me the pain was getting less and less, until it disappeared. When I met him a year later, he told me the pain had never returned, and he no longer needed any operation.

At a L'chaim [engagement party], I had a farbrengen with some bochurim. One mentioned that he suffered from gout, which caused him constant acute pain in his leg. For a few minutes, I focused energy on him and the pain disappeared. He was skeptical about it and didn't believe he would long remain free of pain. But when I met him again over a year later, he reported that, "strangely enough," the pain had never returned!

A few years ago, a man aged around 60 was limping painfully. He had had a knee-cap replacement, and needed another one on his other knee. I focused energy on his problem several times, at personal meetings and during phone conversations. Since then, his pain has disappeared and he hasn't needed a replacement for his other knee.

Give us an example about tefilin.
One man often experienced sudden blackouts, causing him to lose consciousness, fall down and get hurt. It wasn't epilepsy, said his doctors, but they didn't know what else it could be. As I spoke to him, an image of tefilin came into my mind, then the kesher of the shel rosh [knot of the head tefilin]. I asked whether he placed the kesher on the correct part of the head. He replied that he did, but added that, six years earlier – which happened to be when his problem started, of course – someone in shul, not a Rov or sofer but just a well-meaning person, had told him to change where he placed it. I advised him to check with an expert. As soon as he changed back to his original placement of the kesher, his blackouts stopped. That was the first time I advised resolving a problem by ensuring correct observance of tefilin or mezuzos.

So it was your mind's image of the kesher that helped resolve his problem?
 Yes. People may not realize that problems with tefilin and mezuzos involve more than just the written text.

For example, the Alter Rebbe (in his Shulchan Aruch and Siddur) points out a common problem: In the lower area of the tefilin shel rosh, glue is used to keep the parts of the bayis together. But often, while the tefilin are being formed and the glue is still wet, it can spread upwards between the four compartments, where it can render the tefilin non-kosher. In my experience, about 70% of tefilin have this problem, and most soferim aren't trained how to check for it and fix it.

Also, the batim of tefilin have to be perfectly square, but many are not, and not all soferim always check for this. Also a small scratch in the black paint of some parts of the retzuos [tefilin straps] can be very serious.

Another problem with tefilin and mezuzos is with the two tagin [short vertical lines attached to a letter] on top of every lamed letter. According to Halacha, the tag on the right should extend slightly higher than the left one. Kabala explains the underlying reason for this: The right tag represents chessed [kindness] and should therefore be higher than the left one, which represents gevura [severity or judgment], in order to ensure that the flow of Divine kindness overwhelms any possible "judgments."

A lot of soferim usually don't look for this problem unless specifically asked to do so, because it's time-consuming. But when it's not fixed, it can have a negative effect on the wearer and his loved ones. In fact, every detail of tefilin can affect not only the wearer but his wife, young sons and unmarried daughters.

Often I advise someone to recheck even several times for problems with tefilin and mezuzos, because, as in any other field, not all soferim are equally thorough.

Can you give an example of a case about shidduchim.
A certain girl was already beyond the usual age for shidduchim, yet nothing was moving for her. I asked if their home had a balcony. Yes, and their balcony had two sets of doors. I advised bringing a Rov to check whether the mezuzos were placed correctly. He found them to be on the wrong sides of the doors. They were changed, and the girl became engaged within a few months.

Placement of mezuzos can make a huge difference for shidduchim, health and other areas. When an expert is invited into homes to check on mezuza placement, he finds problems in over 90% of homes, in my experience.

What advice would you give people in general?
People often create their own problems through excessive worry and fear. My intuitive energy approach can help with that, but I also advise people to increase their emuna and bitochon in Hashem. When negativity is removed, healing takes place, parnassa flows, health blossoms, and relationships heal. As the Zohar says, "When someone is happy, it opens up all the Divine sources Above."

Thanks for speaking with us
It is my pleasure. I can be reached at TheHelpingRabbi.com

http://www.collive.com/show_news.rtx?id=19622

The Abuse of Power of Religious Leaders...And it's Massive!

With the recent New York Times profile airing the troubling past of Jewish spiritual guru Marc Gafni, issues of sexual impropriety by spiritual leaders in the Jewish community are again being brought to the surface. Past reports include Washinton D.C. Rabbi Barry Freundel’s covert filming of more than 50 women in the mikvah; New York-based Rabbi Jonathan Rosenblatt and allegations of his sexual inappropriateness with minors (brought to light earlier this year in The New York Times); and the case of Rabbi Ephraim Bryks of Winnipeg and his alleged abuse of minors in the 1980s.

Every instance is unique, but there are common themes across cases of sexual impropriety by spiritual leaders.

Perhaps most obviously is the issue of power
.
Michael Plaut, a clinical psychologist who has chaired a state-wide task force in Maryland examining professional boundaries, is clear about the limits of relationships in situations where there is a power differential. “A patient cannot give consent to sexual behavior with a professional by definition,” he said. This is even more relevant in the case of a spiritual leader, Plaut added. Such a leader may, in the mind of a congregant, be “identified with a deity, so the level of dependency may be even greater.”

Julian Slowinski, a former Benedictine monk and now a retired clinical psychologist in Philadelphia, has treated spiritual leaders who have become sexual offenders. His clinical experience suggests that “most of the people who get into trouble have let their prayer life and the seeking of guidance fall by the wayside.” He added, “While an absence or reduction of regular prayer or spiritual practice is not a cause of misconduct, it may be a warning sign that reflects other difficulties in a cluster of issues that make him vulnerable to acting out.”

In the context of the Gafni case, Plaut is struck by a disconnect. “Here is a person who is espousing a kind of spirituality, which implies at least something about the nature of human relationships. What kind of a role model is he for the community in terms of his intimate relationships, his own fidelity?” He added, “How consistent is he to his own principles?”

And then there is the flip side of power: the issue of vulnerability. If the targeted victims are minors, they are intrinsically vulnerable by virtue of their age; if the intended victims are adults, they may be seeking attachment to a father-like figure or otherwise searching for some sort of existential certainty.

In the 1970s, at a particularly vulnerable point in her life triggered by a crumbling marriage, Annette Richard, a Montreal-based psychotherapist, found herself caught up in a cult-like therapy community in Los Angeles. “Where a person who is trying to assert his power over others” encounters someone “who wants to surrender,” she said, the result can be “nightmarish.” The oscillating “between closeness and loving” on the one hand, and “shaming attitudes” on the other — especially once she began to voice doubts about the community’s methods — affected her ability to see the abusive pattern until years later.

Although in Richard’s case, it was a therapy community rather than a spiritual one, the dynamics can be similar.

People who have a greater capacity to live with uncertainty, including the ability to embrace play and creativity, Richard said, may be more able to see through predatory leaders’ charisma and deny them the role of being the holder of absolute truth.

In many of these cases, the perpetrator — and sometimes, his supporters, tend to rationalize. We see this in the regard to Gafni. “She was fourteen going on 35 and I never forced her,” is how a 2004 New York Jewish Week article quoted Gafni, explaining a sexual relationship he had when he was 19 and 20. The rationalizing is also evident in Freundel’s public letter of apology: “how could I have been so incredibly blind, so unaware of my impact on others?”

What of the community response in these cases? On one hand, communities must find ways to repudiate improper actions in the strongest possible terms. Sadly, Rabbi Rosenblatt is still employed by his Riverdale congregation. In the case of Marc Gafni, his mentors have retracted his rabbinical ordination, and this week, the Jewish Renewal movement issued a statement formally distancing the movement from him.

On the other hand, there are no formal mechanisms to govern the offender’s behavior; once ordination is retracted, the offender can continue to offend without fear of professional sanction. It’s a paradox.

Of course, there are always legal channels. However, Plaut emphasized, it is the victim who must make the decision whether or not to pursue a case — whether legal or otherwise. And we know that there are many reasons why victims may choose not to. “We can present options, we can provide support, but the decision must be theirs,” said Plaut.

Coming forward carries its own risks. There’s the fear of shaming, and the added trauma of reliving the experience. When teenager Daniel Levin was asked to rerecord a statement in 1993 about Rabbi Bryks having allegedly abused him nine years earlier, he took his own life.

And then there are related fears around identity and belonging.

Ernesto Mujica is a psychoanalyst at the New York-based William Alanson White Institute, where he directs the Sexual Abuse Service and Study Group. He also volunteers with the sexual abuse survivor’s network called MaleSurvivor.org. For a survivor to come forward to report abuse, the threat “is very large,” said Mujica. “There’s the threat of ostracism, as well as the threat of losing something larger than yourself” — the specific religious community or congregation — “that you were cultivating being a part of.”

“Even families with children who have been abused by religious figures have experienced ostracism from the community because that community has wanted to protect its self-image as being a clean, righteous community,” Mujica said.

One survivor Mujica worked with explained the risk of revealing abuse as being like shooting a bullet into a black box and not knowing from which side it will ricochet.

That’s why it’s “so critical,” Mujica added, that “communities be empathic, loving and inclusive and supportive of families and children when they know they’ve been hurt.”

Read more: http://forward.com/opinion/328369/marc-gafni-and-the-misused-power-of-religious-leaders/#ixzz3wDZaodya

So it is entirely possible for a woman to have five or more children, reach the age of 40 and not be told to do a breast exam or have a mammogram ???

  Women are dying of breast cancer. Why & what can we do about it?

A 48-year-old woman goes to see a breast surgeon. She has four lumps in her breasts, a large ulcerated mass and cancer that has spread to her lymph nodes. She says she had not come in earlier because it didn’t seem so important.

A 36-year-old woman sees her dermatologist for an irritated nipple. The doctor palpates a tumor the size of a golf ball and immediately sends her to a breast surgeon. The patient returns to the dermatologist a month later for the same condition. The doctor, shocked to see that she has not had surgery, asks if she had seen the surgeon. The woman says she was concerned about the level of kashrut at the hospital to which she was sent and, upon her rabbi’s advice, was waiting to have surgery at another hospital with stricter kashrut. She dies not long after.

A mother of seven is fully aware that she has a gene that makes it very likely she will contract the cancer that killed her mother and sister. She knows that if she has her breasts and reproductive organs removed, it could save her life. But she refuses. Not because she wants more children, not because she is afraid of surgery, but because she is afraid that if the neighbors find out, it will ruin her daughters’ chances for a shidduch. After failing to convince her that she could have the surgery with no one knowing, her doctor puts her in touch with a woman who has had the surgery and reconstruction undetected by her community. She finally agrees.

These stories seem very difficult to believe. But imagine that you had heard almost nothing about breast cancer, that it was something not spoken about. Imagine that you did not know the statistics and had never seen the pink ribbons, heard the calls for self-examinations or witnessed the marathons to raise money for a cure.

Would you know that cancer was lethal? Would you know that early detection was key to survival? Would you understand that talking about it could literally save lives?

And even if you did know, suppose you also knew that if anyone was aware you were ill, your daughters’ chances for a good marriage could be significantly lowered (a terrible fate in your community).



Three major studies in the past decade have revealed that haredi women have fewer incidences of breast cancer, but that more of these women die from the disease than women in the general population.

Unofficial theories as to why this is so range from the biology of their illness (the type of cancer) to socioeconomic/health reasons (the rate of poverty in the haredi population was 61.5 percent in 2012), to the fact that some of these women are diagnosed in later stages (due to their not being aware of and not getting checked for the disease). However, one study of over 1,500 women showed that even for women diagnosed at the same stage, haredi women had higher chance of recurrence and greater chance of mortality.

Genetics, poverty, and health habits are not things we can easily change. But how is it possible for a woman with five or more children (as in the studies) to never have heard of breast cancer, its dangers and how to check for it?

Medical community roadblocks

Clinical breast exams and mammographies are considered standards of preventative care and early detection, but if a woman’s general practitioner or gynecologist does not suggest a breast exam or explain the basics of breast cancer and the patient does not know to ask, she will continue to be unaware of the potential danger.

According to Aviva Yoselis, MPH, an independent health research consultant and expert in health promotion specifically among hard-to-access populations that include haredi/religious women, breast surgeons in Israel suggested that they be the ones to conduct breast exams because they have the expertise to know what to look for.

However, this has made clinical breast exams harder for some haredi women to access because they have to make an appointment with a surgeon to receive such an exam. During routine gynecological exams, many women do not have a breast exam unless they specifically request it from the doctor. Once the Health Ministry adopted the suggestion that surgeons be the ones to do the examination, gynecologists got the message not to perform it.

So it is entirely possible for a woman to have five or more children, reach the age of 40 and not be told to do a breast exam or have a mammogram.

The victims

All of this adds up to women not being aware of something potentially life-threatening but far more treatable the earlier it is found. According to the National Cancer Institute’s SEER database, early diagnoses (stages 0-2) can mean a 93% to 100% survival rate.

Being uneducated at home or in school, not being told to get tested by a doctor and having the subject be taboo and detrimental to marriage prospects means that too many women do not discover they are ill until the evidence is undeniable. And even then, they may refuse treatment.

One breast surgeon at Hadassah University Medical Center in Jerusalem’s Ein Kerem discussed the difference between groups of haredim (not always easy to define), noting that non-hassidic groups tend to be more aware and less opposed to treatment.

However, in one week alone, he had a number of haredi women who were primarily hassidic that were diagnosed with breast cancer and decided against medical treatment, preferring to manage it with prayer and other non-medical methods. One woman had avoided medical care for seven years. She is dying and will leave nine orphans behind.

Is this the majority? No. But it is far too many to ignore.

Getting off the ground

For many in certain haredi communities, words such as “breast” and “uterus” are considered immodest – and immodesty is something to stay far away from. So breast cancer is not discussed. In fact, when it is spoken of at all, it is called the “women’s disease.”

Add to this that for some the idea that getting tested is “looking for trouble,” and you have women who are not taught to take care of themselves or do exams and tests that could save their lives.
In October Ruth Colian, founder of the U’Bizchutan – the first Israeli political party focused on Orthodox Jewish women – was determined to mark Breast Cancer Awareness Month and raise awareness among haredi women. But she faced obstacles. When being interviewed on a haredi radio station, she began to talk about breast cancer awareness. The interviewer raised his voice and said, “If you speak of immodest things, I will end the interview!”

In a later interview, Colian asserted, “I cannot bear that there are women feeding their children, cooking, working, cleaning, going through life, unaware that they will be dead in a month. And for no reason! Early detection gives options and saves lives. We deserve better. My daughters deserve better.”

She decided to raise awareness by printing posters in the haredi style of pashkevilim – black and white posters – and hanging them throughout haredi neighborhoods. She had a plan but no funds. However, she found a donor willing to front the money so that she could get the posters printed in time for Breast Cancer Awareness Month in October.

The donor mentioned my name to Colian as someone active in the community and familiar with fund-raising. Aware that this issue is dear to many people, I wrote a blog post and crowd-funded. I also turned to Karmey Chesed, the organization through which I had raised funds for a family – victims of terror who were on the verge of losing their home. Karmey supports individuals and families in need who have exhausted all other avenues. Its freecycling program gives spare goods and furniture to needy families throughout the country. Karmey agreed immediately to be our conduit so that people could donate easily. The sum was modest – $2,000 – and we raised it within 48 hours.
True to her word, Colian made the posters calling on women to fulfill the Torah commandment to protect their lives and get medical checks, including a phone number for more information. More than 200 calls were received from both women and men.

When asked what she learned from the calls, Colian said it seemed that things were worse than she’d thought.

“How can a woman who has had six children and reached the age of 42 not know what a mammogram is? It is unacceptable to not prepare a woman to take care of her health. Schools, communities, seminaries – we must talk about these things,” she said.

After the poster and campaign were publicized, many people who were interested in helping came forward, including those who had tried to raise awareness in the past. A few had pushed to place self-examination cards in ritual baths, only to be told by rabbis that it was inappropriate, for if a woman were to find a lump during the exam, it would ruin her mikve night.

In a hopeful sign, an attendant recently asked by this writer to consider putting information about breast cancer at the mikve said she would be grateful for material, as she recently spoke with a few women whose cancer was recurring and realized that information was vital.

The good news

According to Hala – The Rachel Nash Jerusalem Comprehensive Breast Clinic, there has been a constant rise in the number of haredi women coming in for examinations. Hala is the leading breast cancer diagnostic center in Israel, offering full, comprehensive screening that can detect breast cancer at its earliest stages.

Hala has checked more than 55,000 women of all religions and backgrounds over the last three years. During the past year, some 18,450 women were checked there. This is 4.54% of the total women checked in Israel for breast cancer annually, with Hala diagnosing nearly 8% of the approximate 4,400 cases of breast cancer diagnosed in the country each year. Hala’s ratio of discovery and diagnosis is so high because of its protocols and methods that use cutting-edge technologies; a team of excellent breast imaging experts; and its being a national referral center for symptomatic women.
Every woman is checked by the most sophisticated imaging modalities and is examined by an expert who also performs a clinical examination and an ultrasound study. Hala sees women of all backgrounds. The data reveals that in the haredi population and the Arab religious population, the women coming in are older, and those diagnosed often have a more advanced stage of cancer.

In Israel today, the standard is for a woman with no family history of related cancers to start to get mammograms – covered by the health basket – at age 50, while those with a family history or other high-risk factors are told to start at 40 or younger. Statistically, 25% of the women diagnosed in Israel with breast cancer are under 50.

As a result of his recent visit to Hala, upon the expansion of the clinic and inauguration of a new Walder tomosynthesis unit, Health Minister Ya’acov Litzman related to the topic of breast cancer and announced that he would consider lowering the age of recommending mammography in Israel to match the international trends for early detection. He specified that a committee of experts would investigate the matter and offer their recommendations.

“Even if the implementation of their recommendations will bear high costs on the health system, the suggested change will be made to lower the age at which mammograms are covered by the health basket to 40,” he said.

Dr. Michael Messing, a breast imaging expert at Hala, feels that the haredi community, as well as the government, must do more to educate women about breast cancer and how to get tested for it. By not being exposed to mainstream media or any medium that discusses the disease, women have no way of learning about it unless the community provides the information and doctors are told to tell every young woman what to look for, when she should be tested and to be aware of family history. He says the Health Ministry should put forth efforts to ensure that these communities are reached.

Messing describes some patients who refuse to be examined by male doctors, and others who just didn’t know to go for an exam. Hala has three female doctors on staff for women who want to be examined by a woman. The organization opens its doors to every woman, regardless of social status, race, religion or financial status, providing patients with same-day results of the screening. If needed, immediate non-surgical needle biopsies are conducted as part of the procedure, with results generally back within a few days.

Beit Natan is an organization that provides cancer support and offers physicians and medical staff training on how to work with haredi women in the community. Based on decades in the field and intensive research into the issues, Beit Natan recommends a simple but potentially effective approach to ensure that women receive the information and exams they need in order to diagnose breast cancer in time: Nurses should be trained to speak to women about breast cancer and advise them to ask their doctor for a breast exam and further information. This informs and empowers the patient to be in charge of and proactive in her health.

In addition, Beit Natan suggests that physicians be trained in culturally appropriate breast exams so that the ultra-religious population can feel at ease when discussing a potentially difficult topic.
NO WOMAN should die of breast cancer that has gone undetected, whether due to ignorance, misconceptions about modesty, fear of loss of marriageability for their children or the idea that having a medical examination is “looking for trouble.”

Guarding one’s life is a positive commandment, one that should be encouraged strongly by rabbinic and communal leadership and enabled by the state and private health institutions. It is high time that all women – secular, religious, Jew and Arab – be educated fully on how to protect their lives.

Colian is continuing her quest to educate the haredi public about breast cancer and is working on finding other avenues and partnerships to reach deeper into communities, including those that speak only Yiddish.

And Karmey Chesed, Hala and Beit Natan are working within the neediest populations, a concerted effort worthy of great respect and admiration.

Those who would like to take part in Ruth Colian’s continuing efforts may contact her at bizhutan@gmail.com.

http://www.skjaskoll.com/charedi-women-are-dying-of-breast-cancer-why-what-can-we-do-about-it/#more-424

Obama has weakened America to the point of losing our standing as the the most powerful nation on the earth. THIS was his goal ...

Obama Is Diabolical & Every Action Is Calculated: He Is Neither Inept Nor Inexperienced

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It is time for Americans to understand what makes Obama tick. I have read so many articles on his failed presidency, and how he is just not up for the job; just doesn’t have the skills to lead. I say to these writers – you really do not understand what is happening. You are so naive.

Barack Hussein Obama is a Marxist/Socialist New World Order puppet of the Elite i.e. George Soros and his ilk. He has close ties to the Muslim Brotherhood – the granddaddy of all Middle Eastern terrorist organizations.

Is he a Muslim or at least a Muslim sympathizer? I believe he is. But his mission as president of the U.S. is really not complex.  Let’s look back at his “accomplishments” and find his end game.

1.       He went on an apology tour to the Middle East, telling  leaders that America has done wrong, but we will improve our behavior going forward.

2.      Has has continually amassed  an incredible amount of debt upon our country – so much so, that our children (if we are still here) will be paying for this, and their children as well.  The national debt as of today is nearly 19 trillion dollars. Staggering.

3.      He immediately appointed communist individuals as his so-called “Czars.” Many of these people were so outrageously anti-American; Obama had to ask them to step down.

4.      He appointed devout Muslims to sensitive positions in the the DHS and State department.  The PC crowd tipped their hats to him for this courageous move.  Those of us with brains knew that these appointments  were nefarious and completely foreign to our American way.

5.      He was directly involved in the “Arab Spring” along with Mohamed Morsi (head of the Muslim Brotherhood). His goal was to unseat secular leaders of Arabic countries, and replace them with fundamentalist Muslims like Morsi. Sharia law was the goal. We saw how well that worked out for him in Egypt. He was the cause of the chaos that is in Libya today because he wanted Qadafi out  – no questions asked.

6.      He utterly pulled out of Iraq, against the advice of his generals that this would leave a dangerous vacuum. We know that this is partially how ISIS was born. Calculated?  What do you think?

7.      He armed the Syrian rebels fighting Assad. Most of these so -called  rebels are made up of ISIS members. Why do you think that so many of them are using our arms, ammunition and tanks?  It’s not rocket science.

8.     He did an about face on the gay marriage issue in his second term. The only group that he entertained in the White House more than Muslim Brotherhood was the LGBT gang. He vowed to them his support in making gay marriage legal throughout the nation. He was successful.

9.      He told the world that America is not a Christian nation.

10.  He has used every mass shooting (there have been more under his reign then ever before in history) as a platform for stricter gun regulations. Many feel that this points to his ultimate goal of a massive gun grab.

11.   He refuses to use the terms “Radical Islamic terrorism” even when the evidence is overwhelming, he backs off those words at all cost.

12.  He has demonized Christians, Patriots and Conservatives  as “Enemies of the State.”  Our first amendment has been on shaky ground for the last 8 years.

13.  He shoved Obamacare down the throats of Americans without the proper amount of support in Congress. This was not about healthcare – this WAS about control of the masses.

14.  He oversaw an unscrupulous IRS who targeted Conservative outfits who spoke out against his administration.

15.   He fired a massive number of Generals and Admirals from our military. One can only assume that these fine people would not agree or support that which he was doing to America. He has placed those in power who are yes men/women. He has dramatically reduced our military.

16.  He has executed his executive orders in such a deceptive way – always waiting for Congress to be out of session and usually on a Friday night.

17.   He has put so many restrictions on our border patrol, that these people cannot do their jobs efficiently

18.  After the massacre in Paris, he insisted that Terrorism is NOT the west’s most pressing concern. He had the audacity to say that Climate Change was far more pressing and dangerous to our planet.

19.  He has the mainstream media in his pocket. They might as well be called a political arm of his government. This is very “Hitleresque.”

20. He is using perfect timing to let out the Gitmo terrorists in groups. He waits for big stories to overshadow his actions, and diverts the public’s attention as he strategically chooses which terrorists will be freed to other countries.

21.  He has treated PM Netanyahu worse than any president in history has treated a leader of Israel. He even tried to subvert the re-election of Netanyahu, but God had His own ideas about that.  BHO has no idea what he is doing when he comes against God’s people Israel as he does.

I could go on and on, but to proceed with this article and to attempt to find the common thread woven in and out of each of his anti-American actions, I must continue. Scanning the list of his “accomplishments” what do you think that Obama has been primed to do to our once great nation?

He is a U.N. Man All the Way

The body of the U.N. is made up mostly by sharia compliant countries. The U.N. is also setting up our planet for a New Word Order. Their Sustainable Development Goals have been put in place to that end. The Climate Change hoax is not about climate at all. It is about taking control of the economies of the world and ultimately their governments through the universal regulations imposed by the U.N.

Open Borders is their goal. Nations cannot truly be nations without borders. Do you see that without borders, the dream of the One world government can truly come to fruition?  Forced migration is another initiative of the U.N. We can all thank this demonic organization for the Syrian forced migration.

America Stands in the Way

I have read pieces by former U.N. members, who blow the whistle on the U.N. It is said that a free and armed America is standing in the way of the New World Order. Obama is taking care of this problem. We should watch out as his last term is coming to an end. I shudder to think of the things which are planned for us during this time.

Obama has weakened America to the point of losing our standing as the the most powerful nation on the earth. THIS was his goal. His handlers knew full well what they were doing when they primed this man for his job. He has carried out his orders from the top.

U.S. Spy Net on Israel Snares Congress

NSA’s targeting of Israeli leaders swept up the content of private conversations with U.S. lawmakers

"You don’t have to be a supporter of Rand Paul to think there is something frightening about an administration that would behave in this fashion. The potential for even greater abuses of power inherent in such practices is obvious. Just as worrisome are the implications for U.S. foreign policy. With the NSA spying on Israel and Congress while Washington ignores violations of the deal, no wonder Iran doesn’t fear Obama and why Israelis rightly worry about the way the U.S. has thrown them under the proverbial bus."

President Barack Obama announced two years ago he would curtail eavesdropping on friendly heads of state after the world learned the reach of long-secret U.S. surveillance programs.

But behind the scenes, the White House decided to keep certain allies under close watch, current and former U.S. officials said. Topping the list was Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu.
The U.S., pursuing a nuclear arms agreement with Iran at the time, captured communications between Mr. Netanyahu and his aides that inflamed mistrust between the two countries and planted a political minefield at home when Mr. Netanyahu later took his campaign against the deal to Capitol Hill.

The National Security Agency’s targeting of Israeli leaders and officials also swept up the contents of some of their private conversations with U.S. lawmakers and American-Jewish groups. That raised fears—an “Oh-s— moment,” one senior U.S. official said—that the executive branch would be accused of spying on Congress.

http://www.wsj.com/articles/u-s-spy-net-on-israel-snares-congress-1451425210?mod=trending_now_1


http://beforeitsnews.com/obama/2015/12/obama-is-neither-inept-nor-inexperienced-he-is-diabolical-every-action-is-calculated-2475964.html

We want to save and preserve a way of life that no longer exists, so we retrench and turn inward, exactly when we need to open the door up a bit and let in some new ideas....

Post Orthodoxy

Joel Moskowitz Joel Moskowitz is a businessman and writer who lives in Lawrence NY. His blog, The Ranting Heeb can be read at http://therantingheeb.blogspot.com [Less]

 

I no longer feel shock or any surprise when lifelong friends, community members, colleagues, acquaintances or relatives dismiss my views, ridicule my opinions and are cynical of my practices. This is true not only of my politics but of my religion and ritual practice.

I have made no secret on these pages that I believe the Modern Orthodox Judaism I grew up in basically no longer exists. While there is a movement that goes by that name it has strayed from a tolerance and inclusiveness that identified it just a few years ago. A sharp right turn has changed the character and essence of the movement, but economics also plays a major role. Modern Orthodoxy has become an indulgence of the 10%. To live a Modern Orthodox life, to find co-educational Yeshivot, one must live in areas with a built in premium for housing. Tuition after taxes in an acceptable private school, for one child let alone two three or more is greater than the average income of most Americans. 

The cost of food for an observant family is easily four or five times that of stocking a non-kosher home. I will leave for another post, the outright mafia that is local Kashrut boards and the outright extortion they pull on local businesses. Add to that synagogue dues, summer programs, holidays, charity and the non ending bar/bat mitzvah’s and one can see that to belong to this exclusive club one must be very successful or must have an angle.

Technology and the outing of so many phonies, xenophobes, haters and abusers has either caused a backlash against rabbinic authority or a further entrenchment behind more radical, more intolerant ones.

 How else to account for the isolation and dismissal of Open Orthodoxy, Women’s prayer groups, female ordination and refusal of organized Orthodoxy to give more than just lip service to the plight of chained women?

Why, ask so many friends and relatives, do I still go to my Orthodox shul? Why to I observe Shabbat? After all, I am living a self-proclaimed Post Orthodox life. Orthodoxy no longer tolerates nuance, it is black or white, right or wrong. Emphasis has gone from the size of ones heart to the size of the kippah or the brim on the black hat.

My answer to all this cynicism is a twist on the Israeli saying “the shul I don’t go to is Orthodox.” The religion I belong to but don’t fully observe is Orthodox Judaism. Having spent enough time in Day Schools, Yeshivot, summer camps and synagogues to know the stock answers to my heresy. I am inconsistent, religion is not a cafeteria plan, it is the Torah scholars who are experts, I can’t be a little pregnant…….yada yada yada.

I have a personal relationship with God. I don’t need to be told or policed on how to maintain that relationship. While I still believe that Judaism is a communal religion and that we Hebrew/Israelites are responsible for each other’s welfare, I don’t believe that the moral fabric and basic character of our people is lessened by tolerance, openness and dare I say it – change.

Returning to my point about Modern Orthodoxy being an indulgence of the 10%, look no further than the political leaning of this demographic. Twenty years ago, the Orthodox, Modern or otherwise were a reliably Democrat voting bloc. I don’t begrudge anybody his or her political beliefs and ideals. I accept that people’s circumstances and views change. But like the blind following and rightward lurch in religious practice, the conservative leanings of this group was precipitated by a strong defense of Israel and feeling that a more robust security agenda is in our best interests. Seemingly, Republicans speak to these issues and resonate more with those believers.

This causes otherwise bright, well-informed people to buy into the rest of the conservative agenda which ignores climate change, income disparity, racial bias and blames the greedy, teat sucking, working class for taking out mortgages they could not afford and destroying our economy. In the process of protecting our homelands we have lost our “rachmanus,” our mercy. It’s not the banks or the hedge funds or the mikvah peeping rabbis, or the mystic rabbis who blame homosexuality for severe weather, or the psychological and physically abusive rabbis who teach our children to blame for anything. No, it is always the radical feminists, the heretics who want to change Halacha, or the takers, the poor and the welfare class that destroys the moral fabric of society.

We have thrown nuance to the wind, in the name of ideological purity. We believe that extremism, so long as it in the name of our beliefs – is no vice. Herein lies our great paradox. We want to save and preserve a way of life that no longer exists, so we retrench and turn inward, exactly when we need to open the door up a bit and let in some new ideas. So long as we have ISIS or the dependency class to blame for our problems, we will leave the door shut. Then we will have no one to blame for our own radicalism than ourselves.

http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/post-orthodoxy/

Rabbi Michael Weichselbaum - UPDATED!

Cognitive dissonance is the mental stress and discomfort caused when important beliefs, attitudes or values, called cognitions, are inconsistent, conflicting or contradictory to each other....

 

Why People Can't Face the Truth about Obama (and other absolute failures)

 

The psychological processes which prevent people from facing facts when the unthinkable has become obvious can be explained by the models of social psychology called cognitive dissonance theory.

Cognitive dissonance is the mental stress and discomfort caused when important beliefs, attitudes or values, called cognitions, are inconsistent, conflicting or contradictory to each other. In the 1950s the psychologist Leon Festinger theorized that the mind spontaneously, continuously reduces cognitive dissonance to enable goal-directed functioning in a paradoxical, inconsistent, deceptive world. Festinger's discovery founded a rich tradition of research which has demonstrated how the mind resolves contradictions. It provides a powerful way to understand why people can't face what President Obama is doing to America.

Research has demonstrated countless times that cognitions do not have to be true to create dissonance, they just have to be believed. Barack Obama was elected to reduce the dissonance between the beliefs 'America is the land of the free', and the falsehoods 'America is still racist' and 'President Obama will go a long way to solving the problem of racism.' Because 'America is racist” is false, its corollaries are equally false. 'We must elect a black Democrat -- not black Republican -- because Republicans don't emphasize America is racist. Obama is fabulous, no need to know much about him, or whether he can lead the nation. He will make us feel better about ourselves'.

The antecedents of Barack Obama's hatred of America are now well understood. Obama was groomed from the womb to abhor this white majority, predominantly Christian free enterprise Republic. From his expatriate, capitalism-hating mother, from his alcoholic Communist father and his perv Communist mentor, Frank Marshall Davis, detesting America was in his mother's milk and the blood in his veins. But it was the murderous Bill Ayers who recognized in Obama a destructive potential greater than a million bombs cooked up in basements. Ayers concocted the poison cocktail called Barack Obama that everybody wanted to drink, but nobody wanted to taste first.

America is Barack Obama's prey. He is tearing America apart and feeding the pieces of her life to his foreign and domestic fellow travelers. He is not transforming the nation but terminating it. Even the most transformational administrations haven't enabled the murder of Americans by declared enemies, weakened the national defense, mocked the concerns, and dimmed the hopes of average Americans as this president has. Even the highly transformational Franklin Roosevelt did not return Nazi generals to the enemy during the war as Obama did in the Bergdahl swap. Roosevelt did not entertain and enrich Nazi bigwigs as Obama has the Muslim Brotherhood. Imagine Roosevelt facilitating German atom bomb research and enriching the Axis powers as Obama has in the Iran deal. No president has erased the nation's borders at land and sea as Obama in advertising inducements for an invasion from around the world. No president in American history has aided enemies, undermined the economy and derided the American people as the current commander-in-chief.

The immensity of Obama's disloyalty is key to why people cannot face the truth about him.

If the Obama election were going to reduce the dissonance he would have started his administration thusly: “As I have said, we are one nation, going forward together. Mine will be the first truly color-blind administration in American history. Every appointment I make will be based solely on qualifications and proven competence without reference to race.” Of course, this is the opposite of what Obama did. He fine-combed through America searching for scraps of racism. He strengthened the lie that America is a racist nation as cover for his destruction. Amongst innumerable examples: Attorney General Holder introduced the Obama administration by implying the white majority are all racists, built a DOJ whose foremost concern is racism, carried forward by Loretta Lynch, who just said a street strewn with American corpses murdered by Jihadi terrorists is a “wonderful” opportunity to fight racism.

America is racist, so illegals can enter unchecked. America is racist, destroy her free markets, send billions to nonwhite people as “warmist” reparations for her ill-gotten success. America is racist, empower and enrich her enemies like Iran. Barack Obama and his ilk experience zero cognitive dissonance regarding the contradictory beliefs 'America is about freedom' and 'America is racist'. They never believed that America or her Constitution are about freedom. They believe the incurably evil and racist America must be eliminated for the good of the world.

Before the mass denial of Obama's hatred is explained by dissonance theory, let's mention subdissonant Americans. Subdissonant Americans have no discomfort whether America is about freedom or racism because they are too intellectually limited, dumbed-down, or drugged out to care. If asked “Why does the sun shine?” a six-year-old will answer, “That is what the sun is 'post to do.” This is termed the moral explanation of concrete thinking. Based on IQ distribution, approximately 15% of the population do not think beyond the moral explanation, and do not recognize a president who isn't doing what he is supposed to do. Other subdissonant groups are those too ill educated or addicted to care about freedom or racism.

Festinger's induced-compliance paradigm of dissonance theory explains why black Americans may be the last group to face Obama's destructiveness -- because his policies have hurt them the most. In a famous experiment, people were instructed to lie to others and say a boring task was interesting. The induced-compliance paradigm found that people paid only $1 to lie convinced themselves they were telling the truth more than people paid $20 to tell the same lie! This counterintuitive effect has been replicated many times. People who received minimal external motivation for managing dissonance -- those paid the least -- produced stronger internal justifications to deny their actual experience. The underpaid believed their own lies better than those paid twenty times more. The overpaid say, “I'm in it for the money, period.” This is why many very wealthy people slug the colada in Obama's banana republic while the poorest blacks continue to justify the president, even as they get poorer.

Obama is destroying America overtly and covertly. By promoting policies which are normalizing harmful drugs, undermining the natural family, and generally promoting moral chaos he slyly increases the number of subdissonant Americans, people too ill or distracted to care. He has brainwashed or bought off virtually the entire government including the Republican establishment. A noble people who years ago would have resolved dissonance by believing in America's goodness and standing firm against tyranny no longer do.

The social psychologist Elliot Aronson advanced cognitive dissonance theory, further explaining why people can't face Obama's hatred and destruction. Aronson's self-concept model theorized the central purpose of dissonance reduction is to preserve positive self-image (I am a good person) and self-justification (I was right all along). Because so many Americans now have been convinced we are a racist nation, to maintain a positive self-image people cannot face the truth about Obama.

The loss of opportunities and the diminishing of hopes which Obama's policies have inflicted create a monumental need for self-justification among his supporters. “The president shows us America is still racist. We were right all along.” They have let go the truth that America is about freedom. No one knows how many still stand upon that truth, how many care, or if there are enough big lies left to elect Hillary.

Read more: http://www.americanthinker.com/articles/2015/12/why_people_cant_face_the_truth_about_obama_.html#ixzz3vfKaM5Zr
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