By-Hear O' Israel Teen-Aged Staff, Lipa Mar-Rotzeach & featured children specialist Yudi Kronkite
Thousands took part in an anti-UOJ rally for The Molester Chassidim held on Ocean Parkway at the Margo Coverup Hall on Motzei Shabbos parshas Tetzaveh.
The Admor of Molest, Lipa Marfioso "Hakoton", was present when gabbai Gedalia Gofer, speaking for the Admor announced, "With the elections for biggest reshaim approaching, there is an obligation on all to vote for the "Zipper Kadima" list. You are also asked to help influence others to vote Zipper Kadima and may all be blessed with success." He called on the audience to set all other silly considerations aside and to heed the gedolei Abuse And Molest and the entire Coverup mishpocha shlita unreservedly.
Yaakov Applegrad, third on the UOJ list of menuvalim, opened "youknowwhat" without shame and led the pervert gathering. He said gedolei Molest referred to the coming lawsuit as a yom din ledoros. On this day of judgment, he said, we must assess what we have gone through, how many kids we ruined for life, and that matters of harboring vicious molesters are the top of the list of displaying kevod Shomayim. "We must know that with every Zipper Kadima ballot slip we declare Mi leHashem eilai. Gedolei Yisroel, including the Moetzes, taught us that every vote for Zipper Kadima is a kiddush Hashem, no matter how many children are destroyed for life."
HaRav Alter Farshimelt Shmeckle, one of the roshei yeshivas of Yeshivas Chiddushei NAMBLA, said the gathering was organized to fulfill ve'osiso kechol asher yorucho. "Some people mistakenly believe the matter of Zipper protection relates to a few askonim, but not to a man busy with the education and raising of his children.
We used to be at peace, believing this was just propaganda and the decrees would not be carried out. The past months have proven the era of idle threats has come to an end. Woe are we if they continue with just a portion of their plans.
UOJ made a surprise appearance. He was able to grab the microphone away from Rav Alter Farshimelt Shmeckle and questioned the crowd; who are the ones standing guard to protect these ***holes??? UOJ stared down at Shea Fishman and Dovid Zweibel and said in unison with his supporters "none other than the representatives of the Moetzes and Torah U'Mesorah." Singing and dancing broke out to celebrate the announcement that the Agudah planned to have not one, but two conventions a year.
At the end of the rally sign-up forms to volunteer for cover-up activities were handed out.