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Monday, September 15, 2008

A Victim Of Rabbinic Sexual Abuse Ponders!

Why is it still considered taboo to go to the police when a child has been molested?

Can someone please give me an answer? Why are there child molesters (that we know about) roaming freely and being given the biggest respect and protection, while their victims are not allowed to get any sense of closure? Why is Dov Hikind not advising to go to the authorities?

I am fighting for this worthy cause. My motive is to stop the ugly cycle of molester/victim/molester/victim/etc.

What I'm implying in my last sentence might well bring upon me the wrath of victims and family. Let me preface with the fact that I was used and abused sexually by rabbis in our society and am left deeply hurting from those episodes and the cover-up that followed. As long ago as they may have occurred, the brain is still a huge blackboard with NO ERASURE. Hence when rabbis counseled me with the words "just get over it, it’s a thing of the past" I knew I was talking to men who are phenomenal IMBECILES when it comes to relating to this complex and painful topic.

Having said all this I will venture into dangerous waters now. Please be patient and follow my logic to its conclusion.

All or most seem to concur that a large percent of victims will due to the mental trauma, (and lack of normal sexual maturity while in a proper and healthy state of mind), likely and sadly become child-rapists themselves (albeit without being able to comprehend the severity of this due to having been programmed as such by the molestation). A far larger number will at least entertain thoughts of abuse and sexual violence.

As horrific as this sounds, allow me to prove it. Many survivors who fail to get proper therapy in a timely manner and try to live a normal life (i.e. getting married), will eventually find themselves in a turbulent marital relationship due to the fact that they were taught by example, and will therefore relate to sexual acts and marital relations in a different manner. These victims were taught, even before attaining full puberty, that sexual gratification is attainable at the expense of one’s supposed loved one, and that the object of your desires exists only to fulfill your every desire and fantasy with all the twisted justifications in tow.

Obviously such a relationship will crash and burn very badly, all the while, the original victim struggles, yet fails, to fully comprehend what went wrong with the relationship. (As a side note, I insist that a great many of the divorces in our society stem from this issue - yet another price to pay for harboring rapists and molesters.)

Take the above married couple dilemma and replace the wife with a student, neighbor's kid, or sibling, and you see the disaster perpetrated by those advocating cover-ups and shipping our problems to another town or yeshiva. This is all the more reason that this is a real emergency.

A final example, is the child of violent parents who will likely grow up to beat his own children, since he was taught to deal with his anger and negative emotions with violence unto helpless children.

Now, although we are sickened by this reality and the seeming unstoppable cycle of ever-increasing molestation and its resulting side effects, and although victims must be held accountable for improper actions (just like children are taught lovingly that they must be responsible for stealing and biting etc.), you would have a heart of stone not to feel sorry for the victim of child molestation who turns to this very same trade. This person’s confusion, post traumatic stress disorder, disassociation, depression, low self esteem, the insatiable need for over stimulation brought on by the inability to reconcile what happened as a child or teen, and a slew of other side effects of abuse, are more guilty than he himself.

Now, look me in the eye and tell me what you would say if you found out that Kolko or Mondrowitz or Lanner or Colmer or any of the other alleged or convicted prolific molesters/rapists were themselves raped, sodomized, or prematurely stimulated by others as children? If true, was not their plight at the hands of an authority figure reaming him in the mouth, pounding him in the ass or making him fondle the molester or perform sex acts on camera etc., any less painful then the plight of his very own victims? What about his molester? Was he molested too? Don't we owe it to possible victims of rape and incest, who in turn abuse others, to discern and consider whether we are dealing with one whose heart and spirit died a horrible death years earlier at the hands of another molester?

When that once-carefree spirit died it too had no one to mourn its demise, no one to share in the grief of the little victim as his wretched abused soul shriveled up and died that day! For example, what will we say if it turns out we have reliable sources documenting that Mondrowitz was molested as a child by the "butcher of Chicago" who lived in the same building he grew up in? May G-d forgive me if what I write here is used unjustly by Mondrowitz's defense, but my intentions are pure.

Heaven forbid that I am advocating moderation in pursuit of justice and closure. What I am saying is that Dov Hikind may know what others don't, or may be going the more cautious route and giving the opportunity to those victims-turned-molesters to come clean, fess up to what they did, beg and plead on both knees to the victims (every single last one of them), for forgiveness and then give these souls the ONLY kind of therapy that works. Namely to explain to them how they came about to molest, what they are perpetrating and perpetuating with these acts, and that they can and will overcome the trauma of their youth. They can then use the one little known strength of victims, which is a hidden and long dormant tenderness and ability to feel for others, and then move toward a lasting, honest and fulfilling marriage.

You might raise an eyebrow and say, "what is this guy talking about a victim’s hidden strength of tenderness"? Well, bear in mind that it is those with an inherent shy and timid kindness, with an unlimited innocent sense of human goodness, and a yearning for peace and warmth --- who wouldn't hurt a fly, that falls victim to molestation.

We may perhaps venture now to answer a question that has reverberated in the halls of modern medical schools and in the journals of mental health. Can a molester be “cured”? The answer comes with a big IF. IF and only IF the molester was himself victimized, then conditional to the steps mentioned two paragraphs back, I can safely state that barring other severe mental issues, YES! The logic found above points solidly to this answer.

I repeat that I have always been an active advocate of strict and immediate definitive intervention. But after the initial intervention and the truly sincere apology to every last victim, parents of victim and spouse of victim (I won’t want to have to hold my breath waiting for this ever to happen), we must give quarter to those who too have suffered a lifetime of living with an unshared secret of pain and horror. If my tormentors turn out to be victims themselves I would upon the above conditions consider the case closed even though the issues I deal with may linger for a lifetime. Hopefully Hashem will reciprocate and bestow upon me his unlimited kindness and forgive my shortcomings on account of my being a human and a victim of sexual abuse. And I hope he will grant me the strength to live life to its fullest potential - and love it, in the company of my spouse and children, who are so dear to me for eternity.

I write these lines in honor of first - the victims (those who are with us and those who died waiting in vain for closure and validation),and most of all, in honor of my wife, the compass of my soul, the healer of my heart.

UOJ, If you find this piece worthwhile, publish it for all to see, so as to give some sort of balance as we strive to do the elusive right things before Yimei Hadin.

This topic has no quick answers and has more facets than a prism. It is a difficult task to stand in judgment of these episodes, and even harder to do right by finding the perfect solutions. Which is yet another reason why victims live in turmoil.

Please Hashem, free us of this epidemic for all time.

44 comments:

TechnoYid said...

1) I would have to see statistical evidence that molested victims are statistically significantly more likely to molest.

2) Even granting the above, there is still no excuse. Most of the (R'L) molested/abused lead normal lives. It is within each person to behave properly. Many molesters/abusers were never molested/abused. Again, it is within each person's power to resist bad urges.

3) I've told my children that if they are abused, they should tell me. The abuser would never (***NEVER***) be able to abuse another living being again. (Just thinking about someone hurting my children makes my blood boil... the anger spills... I need to collect my thoughts...)

Anonymous said...

Dear Izzy,

1. See TheAwarenessCenter run by Vikki Polin and other professionals who put it at about 60%. The general consensus of clinicians and researches has that number between 30 and 70%.

2. Some victims are so messed up and view concepts in so a distorted manner that not until they are retaught the concept of honoring someone else's private space do they realize how cruel and unfair they are. Talk to therapists and you will get more insight into this. (Something tells me you wrote your three comments from the disadvantaged position of not having been involved in some way in this sordid topic.)
3. Every one, be they victims or not, talk this way when imagining the unimaginable. Ask those frum parents of molested children. They will say they reacted with such feelings. But when it came to breaking some bones or even more benign actions like going to the police, the fear of coming forward and the resultant revictimization through the negative reactions of our community, put an end to these thaughts. May you never be put to this test.

Anonymous said...

For those tired old reasons... Loshan Hara... blah blah...

I work with abuse victims. Victims of emotional, verbal & psychological abuse. If I had just a nickel for every time a Jewish alleged abuser has told their victim "it's Loshan Hara" or "Rechilot" or "Chillul Hashem"... I could retire with a small condo in Israel and a lovely home in New York City. Seriously.

And these abusers say it over & over because it works.

You are right - especially about child abuse... WHAT WILL IT TAKE TO BREAK THIS STUPIDITY and MISUSE OF JEWISH LAW!!

Anonymous said...

This essay was one of the most sensitive, thoughtful essays on the subject of abuse, and it could only have been written by a victim of abuse. Now, all sorts of people will write all sorts of things, but let's take a few minutes to ponder what was written here--some very profound ideas.

Too bad such ideas cannot be said by our supposed leaders.

Anonymous said...

PLEASE POST THIS RESPONSE UNDER THE ORIGINAL POST, TO LET READERS CHOOSE FOR THEMSELVES:

We know how you are feeling completely. We too are survivors of sexual abuse, it’s disgusting and too painful to even dwell on it. We heard the same things from our psychologists. What you addressed is the GUILT of sexual abuse not the PREVENTION of abuse.

Were it not for immediate intervention many more of us victims could have continued the vicious cycle of sexual abuse in Chicago. Please read what he told us then, when the choice of how to understand our feelings. This has made THE greatest impact on our lives, and the lives of countless others he has helped.

We quote you his exact words “today, you are at a crossroad. What was done to you was wrong, entirely not your fault, and not what true Jewish people believe in. What happened to you will force you to make a choice in life. Some people who experience abuse CHOOSE to continue those behaviors and do unto others what was done to them, and some CHOOSE to run far away, and take firm stands against these disgusting behaviors. The key is the word CHOOSE. As human beings, and Jews we believe that Hashem gives us the power to control our own destiny with the choices we make. Hashem said “I’m giving you life and good, and death and bad, but CHOOSE life”. He isn’t guaranteeing how you live life, he wants you to CHOOSE what to do. I can’t force you how to react to the abuse you experienced, but I will beg you to CHOOSE to run away from the abomination you experienced, and promise yourself to never, ever continue the chain of abuse”.

You see our dear friend, it’s a CHOICE your making to destroy other people’s lives, it’s not guaranteed what the effects of abuse have to be. It’s up to the survivor how to behave.

If we were on a jury of Kolko, Mondrowitz etc. we would have not the slightest bit of compassion if he himself was abused as a child. Because, he knew the devastation it causes, but CHOSE to continue the chain of abuse.

I don’t believe that Hashem wants us to show chessed to a person who CHOSE to poison the minds and souls of innocent children. I don’t believe that Hashem wants us to show chessed to a person who CHOSE to continue the chain of abuse on His people.

So all our dear members in the survivor community, besides for assuaging guilt by psychologists, it’s important to have a mentor who will guide you to true Torah. Thank God, Chicago has Rabbi Finkel. Thank God, Judaism has Rabbi Horowitz to show the light.

Anonymous said...

Reb izzy,

It is nice that you feel that way for your own children, who have escaped thus far. How do you feel about others' who have not?

Anonymous said...

The answer to your first question is your second question!

Why is it still considered taboo to go to the police when a child has been molested?

Why is Dov Hikind not advising to go to the authorities?

Instead of making grand reunions between molesters & their victims, he should be walking them through the process of the legal system to the very end, only then will I call dov & tell him job well done, otherwise cut the crap and stop making victims feel they have finally found a voice.

Anonymous said...

Great peice in the jerusalem post,

http://www.jpost.com/servlet/Satellite?cid=1221489042256&pagename=JPost%2FJPArticle%2FShowFull

Silencing dissent, hushing up scandal
By MICHAEL J. SALAMON



Two items recently crossed my desk. The first was an article that appeared in The Jerusalem Post written by Matthew Wagner entitled "Haredim move to silence 'treif' music". It was about a movement to ban musicians who produce or perform any music which the Guardians of Sanctity and Education deem inappropriate. Musicians playing such music would be banned from playing in wedding halls, their CDs would be banned and their concerts disallowed.


Controversial vocalist Lipa Schmeltzer canceled a concert at New York's Madison Square Garden following a meeting with Rabbi Yosef Shalom Elyashiv.

The other item was a breaking news piece from JTA indicating that Rabbi Benzion Twerski had resigned from a task force in formation being brought together to deal with sexual abuse in the Orthodox community. New York State Assemblyman Dov Hikind, also an Orthodox Jew, is establishing the task force to deal with this scourge. Twerski resigned because of the many threats against him and his family made by several individuals from his community.

When taken together these two items suggest such a profound and disturbing conflict regarding the current goals of the Orthodox world, of which I am a member. If music is so important, is not the emotional welfare of members of the community even more so? How can music be a threat and abuse not be? While some may argue that this is not the message to be learned, that the insular community is seeking ways to deal with the sexual abuse problem discreetly, it is clearly not so when someone as prominent and discreet as Twerski can be so horrifically threatened. But, he is not the only one to receive threats. Apparently so have musicians. The canceling of a recent concert is evidence of this.

IN MY work I too have received threats, most recently for suggesting that the rigid shidduch approach to dating seems not to be working. What this approach has accomplished in recent years is to increase rigidity and unrealistic demands for a spouse; rates of domestic violence are increasing and so are the divorce rates.

There seems to be little balance left in the Orthodox world. There is no allowance made for harmless pleasure and those who abuse are given a free pass. Those who attempt to stand up are threatened.

Still there is a commandment that states "V'chai bahem"; we should live by the rules. That command, however, requires that the rules are such that one can live according to them. Additionally, we have lost sight of the adage "yesh chochma bagoyim," there is knowledge, as well as arts and music, among the nations of the world that is meant for us to share. I believe that is why much of our liturgical music comes from a host of sources including the church. And our great rabbis have not simply accepted it but enjoyed and encouraged this music.




When I look at the increasing rigidity that these events objectify, I think of how we are pushing people away instead of bringing people closer to the core values of Judaism. I also reflect on the experience of Ayan Hirsi Ali, currently a member of the Dutch Parliament, reared as a devout Muslim who was forced to evaluate the oppressiveness of her religion. She became a vocal critic of the religion to the point where she has had to go into hiding. At the end of the day, she may be the model that our children follow if we do not find a way to balance the needs of our society with those of a firmly religious leaning. Pushing people too hard will only force them to push back.

To suggest that the decisions of a few vocal individuals make are the only correct approach and allow them to steer us away from doing what must be done is simply illogical. Every society has its ills. So does ours. We must find productive ways to deal with these ills if we are to survive.

Anonymous said...

http://www.omaha.com/index.php?u_page=1219&u_sid=10433239

Agriprocessors had been the nation's largest kosher meatpacker.

"We feel at this point they've lost a lot of credibility," Orthodox Union President Steve Savitsky said Friday in Omaha, where he was visiting a growing Orthodox synagogue, Beth Israel. "We want them to bring in new management, even bring in new equity partners."

The Agriprocessors controversy might seem like an internal Jewish debate. But it strikes universal chords that are growing louder, said William O. Stephens, a Creighton University professor of philosophy and classical and Near Eastern studies. He also teaches ethics.

It's like not buying clothes manufactured in a sweat shop, Stephens said, or trying to buy food from farms that pollute less than others.

"That's how people try to make their dollars speak in terms of ethical judgments," he said.

Under the moral concept of taint, products created unethically are tainted, regardless of how pure they are physically, Stephens said.

"Spiritually, you want it to be pure meat — it's safe, it's wholesome, it's been killed humanely, and then you can feel good about ingesting it," he said.

Savitsky traveled to Omaha from Orthodox Union headquarters in New York to visit Beth Israel Synagogue. Beth Israel is a growing congregation in the Orthodox movement, the most traditional branch of Judaism.

The Agriprocessors controversy wasn't on Savitsky's official Omaha agenda. But it was an unavoidable topic. Beth Israel Rabbi Jonathon Gross welcomed news of the ultimatum from the Orthodox Union.

Gross said he has had no qualms, so far, buying meat from the plant. But now, Gross said, issues of trust have arisen. If the plant managers can't be trusted to obey state and federal laws, can they be trusted to process the meat correctly? Beyond that, he said, potential mistreatment of workers is an ethical problem in itself.

"Jewish law is not only relegated to the kitchen," Gross said. "It also regulates how we conduct ourselves in business. . . . If a company violates these laws and mistreats people, that's equally if not more egregious" than violating kosher processing laws.

The Orthodox Union's Savitsky said Friday that the Postville plant's meat still qualifies as kosher. But he said the mounting legal troubles have led to concerns about current managers of the family-owned plant's ability to perform up to standards.

The charges still haven't been proved, he said. But he said it would be in the Agriprocessors owners' interests, as well as the Jewish community's interest, for them to put someone else in charge and let the plant get back to providing kosher meat for the country.

Anonymous said...

http://www.jpost.com/servlet/Satellite?cid=1221489046268&pagename=JPost%2FJPArticle%2FShowFull

THE JEWISH propensity for ignoring a recession is most obvious during holiday periods, when expenditure on food and gifts goes on is as if there were no tomorrow. Not everyone wants to go to the trouble of preparing a Rosh Hashana feast at home, and many people find it more convenient - time-wise, work-wise and even in terms of money - to go to a hotel. The Dan chain alone will be serving up meals to more than 6,500 guests on the first night of Rosh Hashana. Some will be tourists, but many will be Israelis who simply don't want to be at home.
According to Rafi Be'eri, deputy marketing and sales manager for the chain, reservations at this stage indicate 91% occupancy overall, and 100% occupancy in Dan hotels in Eilat, Haifa, Caesarea and Ashkelon. Meals alone range in price from NIS 220 per head to NIS 485 per head, depending on the particular Dan hotel. The most expensive is the Dan Accadia in Herzliya Pituah; the least expensive is the Dan Gardens in Ashkelon.

Curiously, there is a huge price difference between the Dan Panorama in Jerusalem, which is charging NIS 250 for an evening meal, and the King David, around the corner, which is charging NIS 340. Guests at the Dan Panorama will have a wider choice of food and can eat more for less because the service will be buffet style, whereas at the King David it will be a la carte service with waiters bringing food and beverages to the table.

Anonymous said...

http://www.jpost.com/servlet/Satellite?cid=1221489040906&pagename=JPost%2FJPArticle%2FShowFull

All day Monday, haggard investment bankers walked mournfully in and out of Lehman Brothers' headquarters at the north end of Times Square in Manhattan, most clad in weekend wear that might be called "shiva casual" and toting plastic tubs, rolling suitcases or gym bags to gather their personal effects.

The roughly 25,000 workers at Lehman and other institutions caught up in the weekend's financial crisis - including Merrill Lynch, which agreed to be bought by retail banking giant Bank of America, and American International Group, the insurance giant that will begin selling off pieces of its business to prevent going under - had no word of their fates, and no choice but to simply wait.

Most in the companies' New York offices chose to do so in silence. Lehman cut workers off from external phone and e-mail contact via corporate systems early in the day, but even those who could be reached declined comment.

"I don't want to talk," said Boaz Nol, an Israeli who is a vice-president in Lehman's private investment management division, when reached by The Jerusalem Post on his cell phone.

To most, including the horde of onlookers and reporters who gathered outside the building on Seventh Avenue to gawk, the mute passage of workers under the watchful eyes of security guards - one with a dog - embodied tragedy. But savvy market players saw something else in one of the biggest collapses in Wall Street history: opportunity.

Bankruptcy attorneys, even those not working directly on deals relating to Lehman's collapse, said they were flooded with work stemming from the crisis, while lawyers specializing in venture capital and private equity markets said their clients were actively looking for places to invest their money.

Anonymous said...

In Rego Park, NY there was a Hungarian/Chassidish shtieble in which the Rebbe there was, until his death, hounded with rumours of his being a kapo in the lager. Other survivors davened there, because those who were there, as opposed to those two or three generations removed, understood what the choices were and how they were made.
This is, of course, on the individual case by case record. Leaders are held to different standards. Its good to have the examples of Bobov, Alexander, Piesetzne, etc. The "artscroll-type" revisionism is to be expected; anyone with any real interest in the subject needs to rapidly move past that (its like learning "history" from Rabbi Wein- his history makes for great derashas but little else).

Anonymous said...

http://www.azcentral.com/arizonarepublic/arizonaliving/articles/2008/09/08/20080908polfashion0908.html

There's something wrong when unzerra whores are falling over themselves to represent filth like P. Diddy.

Ben Brafman on the legal front and Ronn Torossian on the PR front.

Anonymous said...

"Lo sechaneim" is the issur to say out loud a shiksa is attractive.

http://www.azcentral.com/arizonarepublic/arizonaliving/articles/2008/09/08/20080908polfashion0908.html

Which brings us to Cindy McCain's saffron shirtdress, which has fashion people clucking.

On its Web site, Vanity Fair magazine estimated that the Oscar de la Renta dress McCain wore on the first night of the Republican National Convention cost $3,000. Accessorized with a Chanel watch, diamond earrings, pearl necklace and Taryn Rose shoes, the magazine's editors estimated the cost of the ensemble at $300,000.

(Rubashkin agent) Torossian said McCain has it relatively easy, given her good looks, sense of style and ability to spend $3,000 for a dress. What some consider buttoned-up, others may see as sophisticated.

"To some degree, it's the Jackie O. look," Torossian said. "Frankly, she's a pretty woman."

Anonymous said...

Hewlett-Packard Co. announced plans Monday to cut 24,600 jobs, or about 8 percent of its work force, over the next three years

Anonymous said...

Helps explain why the Dow Jones fell over 500 points yesterday and another 175 at the open of today's trading.

Goldman Sachs Group Inc., the largest of the two big independent investment banks on Wall Street, posted its sharpest decline in earnings since becoming a public company in 1999. The company said quarterly earnings fell 70 percent from a year earlier and that it saw a marked decrease in client activity. The profit results were better than Wall Street had been expecting

Anonymous said...

Oprah Takes on Washington for Child Protection Bill

Monday, September 15, 2008

WASHINGTON — An increasingly political Oprah Winfrey used her show Monday to advocate for a Senate bill aimed at fighting child exploitation.

On the surface, the cause appears noble enough.The bill would increase resources for regional computer forensic labs and add other improvements to increase the ability of authorities to investigate and prosecute predators.

But the bill is at the center of political wrangling between Republicans and Democrats.

Democratic vice presidential nominee Joe Biden sponsored the bill, and Republican Oklahoma Sen. Tom Coburn opposes it, saying he wants to stop redundant programs and reduce federal spending.

"Those who watched Oprah's broadcast today deserve to know that Senate leaders have repeatedly objected to passing critical child protection legislation for partisan, political purposes," Coburn said in a statement. "Congress has a 9 percent approval rating because politicians in Washington refuse to set common sense priorities, refuse to make rational budget decisoins, and refuse to work across the aisle when that requires sharing credit with the other party during election season.

"Victims of these horrible crimes don't care whether Democrats or Republicans get the credit for protecting children," he continued.

The queen of daytime talk first ventured into the political ring last year when she endorsed Barack Obama for president. Since then, she has drawn fire for refusing to invite Sarah Palin on her show until after the November election. Obama has appeared on her show twice — in early 2005 and the fall of 2006 — before he was a presidential candidate.

"At the beginning of this presidential campaign when I decided that I was going to take my first public stance in support of a candidate, I made the decision not to use my show as a platform for any of the candidates," Oprah said in a statement released when the criticism started.

But Oprah is willing to use her show as a plaform for the highly politicized issue of child exploitation, which has emerged a campaign issue.

McCain recently released an ad condeming what he said was Obama's vote for "comprehensive sex education" for kindergartners. But the bill, which never passed the Illinois state Senate, actually outlined age-appropriate categories, seeking to teach young children how to defend themselves against sexual predators and inappropriate touching.

Oprah's production company issued a statement Monday before the show aired.

"In an arresting hour, viewers will see the true extent and pervasivness of child pornography trafficking in America, as state-of-the-art technology reveals the staggering magnitude of the problem for the first time," the statement read.

Winfrey plans to ask her audience of 8 million viewers, mostly women, to contact their senators about the bill and link to the Senate's Web site through her own.

Senate staffers got a warning e-mail on Friday saying the system administrator expected "larger than normal volumes of traffic."

Coburn explained that Senate leaders have insisted the bill pass only if it is included in a package of unrelated bills that address less vital concerns such as the interstate commerce of non-human primates. Coburn said his proposal to separate the causes of protecting children and chimpanzees was rejected.

In response, he said, he introduced a comprehensive child exploitation bill that would have been linked to the Securing Adolescents from Exploitation Online (SAFE) Act of 2007. But Democrats objected, hesaid, because the SAFE Act's author, John McCain, would have gotten credit for passing the bill.

"Finally, I'm concerned that Oprah's program only highlighted one half of the solution — the half supported by the presidential ticket she has endorsed. While I support the right of celebrities to use their platforms to advance partisan goals, Oprah's viewers deserve to know all of the facts," Coburn said.

"The American people have had enough of Washington's false promises and partisan rhetoric that fails to acknowledge that all Americans, both Democrat and Republican, want to do their best to protect our children from Internet predators."

Anonymous said...

http://www.pioneerlocal.com/schaumburg/news/1156770,sc-blotter-091108-s1.article

George Torossian, 35, of 911 Medinah St., Bensenville, was charged at 10:51 a.m. Aug. 28 on the 800 block of W. Irving Park Road with battery. He allegedly threw a can of dog food and punched a co-worker. His court date is Oct. 1.

Anonymous said...

Torossian should know better than to assault people with the dog food I sell. I should have listened to my shver OU Exec VP Rabbi Weinreb who wanted me to print warning labels on my product.

Anonymous said...

"Rabbi Avi Shafran is the spokesman for Agudath Israel. He is someone with whom I usually agree.
But I’ve said that before. He is one of the good guys."

It's no wonder that UOJ thinks I'm nuts!

Anonymous said...

I am absolutely, unequivocably convinced that nothing significant will change unless a huge ruckus is raised. I've gone the other route, as have so many others, and it doesn't work.

Gil | Homepage | 09.11.08 - 2:12 pm | #

Anonymous said...

Gil, don't forget to mention that what UOJ does is "assur, yet necessary"

Ahavah said...

Not all kids turn to molesting others or going off the derech - some turn to violence, and not just toward their spouse. The growing problem of vigilante youths may be a result of the neglect and abuse of children in chereidi communities. As I wrote earlier today in response to a couple of articles, including the one about the drug scene. To give a little context, the main article I was commenting about was a psychological study of the hierarchy of needs that children have to have met in order to become well-adjusted adults.

******************

...Going off the derech, failing at school, and pursuing the drug scene are all very clear signs that today's kid's needs are not being met. It starts when they're dumped in herds in daycare to fend for themselves, their sense of security destroyed by the harsh and judgmental treatment they receive from both staff and other students, which continues on in school when teachers, ravs, and parents criticize and ridicule those with deep questions, plus their aesthetic needs regarding individualized clothing and artistic/musical pursuits are denied, etc., and it all ends up with the youth completely lacking the foundation and resources necessary to reach the level of functioning adulthood: self-actualization, much less the spiritual confidence of transcendent living.

They are given little or no means or skills to support themselves (or their young families, if applicable). They're powerless to help themselves and they know it. They're perpetually stuck in childhood, their choices and individuality taken away from them, their doubts magnified instead of answered, and their spirits crushed by the hypocrisy and corruption they see all around them. They want to reach Hashem but know their parents and teachers and Ravs are nowhere near Him, so they are forced to look elsewhere than the tradition they have received. Some do it by walking away, other try to circumvent the deadness of their lives by living a drug-induced spiritual scene, and others simply drag on, dead inside, an empty shell wondering where the promised peace and joy went.

The most perverted thing of all is the fact that the currents Ravs don't want young people to be functioning adults. They don't even want adults to be functioning adults - they don't want anyone who might challenge their authority and position. They want dependency to last forever, so this current generation of youths is more in danger than ever before, not from outside lures, but from the moral, ethical, and spiritual bankruptcy inside their own communities.

Until somebody besides just Rabbi Horowitz and UOJ acknowledges this and takes steps to restore the dignity and confidence of today's young people, we cannot dig ourselves out of this hole we're in. These young people want an authentic experience of Hashem and a life of joy and peace - but they can't find it in frum communities. There's not a shred of evidence it was ever there, much less anywhere to be found now. We are whitewashed tombs, and they know it. And the future of Judaism rests in their hands.

We're in big trouble, class, partly because not everyone is willing to just go around in a haze of resignation. Some youths decide they will take power - by whatever means necessary. Since they cannot take it from the Ravs who are firmly entrenched in their fiefdoms, they take it from innocent bystanders - those who are "less frum" than they, those whom they have been told are wanton sinners and deserve to be "punished."

...These youths have learned, clearly, that the only way they can receive approval and support from the Ravs and have some power and control in their lives is to turn their frustrations and anger outwards onto "lesser beings" than themselves.

This is a sick and twisted mental disorder that is being encouraged by the Ravs and will, ultimately, destroy Judaism completely. People are not going to endure living under the Chereidiban - violence will eventually go both ways with pogroms and retaliations by the "lesser beings" against the evil acts of the ultra-orthodox youth. It takes a real idiot not to see this coming, I might add. Violence begets violence - and vigilantism works both ways. Like the frum couple who was recently run out of a park in a secular neighborhood by the secular residents who feared having the park taken over by the chereidi, frum people are going to start suffering for the sins of these violent youth they have spawned. Civil war is at our doorstep, because the only dignity and acceptance these kids have in their lives is violence and hatred toward their fellow Jews. The Ravs have turned ultra-orthodoxy into a sociopathic mental illness for these youths.

And every last bit of this was preventable, class. There is no reason for any frum youth to go off the derech, get involved with drugs, live an empty life, or embrace the false semblance of power through vigilantism to quiet the pointlessness of their dependent existence and give them a sense of control. We drove them to this. We are the cause of their mental dysfunction. And we need to step up to the plate and acknowledge what we have done and take steps to remedy it.

Anonymous said...

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The word bouffant comes from Middle French, from present participle of bouffer: "to puff, puffed out."

Paul Mendlowitz said...

Ahavah:

I get uplifted when I read your posts. You are a profound thinker and an awesome writer.

UOJ

Anonymous said...

I don't know why John Kerry is associating with a commoner like Gil Student who doesn't have a shtatty hairdo.

Anonymous said...

Molestation is an inconvenient truth.

Ahavah said...

High praise indeed coming from the only true gadol hador we have!

(Now, if I could just get paid to write...)

Shalom!

Anonymous said...

To Chicago survivors,

Not every victim of molestation has the good fortune of hearing from Rabbi H or Rabbi Finkel. Those who dont stew in own juices and the brain percolates with evil fantasies which often times turns to actions. They were taught offensive and selfish overstimulation is good and ideal and have no access to professional or caring help to reanchoe them to reality.

And to you LVF, you don't seem to have gotten a clear grasp of the article. Read it again. Suffice to say that if UOJ deemed it worthy to publish, it surely is worth more then a casual dismissive glance. I'm not trying to turn the tables, play devil's advocate or mess with the emotions of victims. Its just a small part of the resultant conclusions drawn from having "been there" and worked to stem this mad rabbinic response for over a dozen years.

Anonymous said...

Gil Student was against us before he is for us.

Anonymous said...

Twerski may be a coward, but he has always done better without the media coverage. It is interesting that all those who chose to complain about him did so without knowing anything about what he was commissioned to accomplish. He told me yesterday that he had not received a single call inquiring about the project until after he withdrew and ran for the hills. What’s with this assuming and prejudging? Don’t we know what ASSUME means?

Anonymous said...

CBS National News said "Ronn Torossian knows spin"

http://www.opednews.com/articles/Media-Bias-Fact--Fiction-by-Ronn-Torossian-080905-514.html

September 5, 2008 at 12:43:28

Media Bias: Fact & Fiction

by Ronn Torossian

As the owner of one of the twenty five largest PR firms in the U.S., I take the responsibility of studying media bias quite seriously for business reasons, and personal passion. This week, media bias was put in the spotlight after Us Weekly published a cover story: "Babies, Lies and Scandal: John McCain's Vice President." Juxtaposed with Us Weekly's recent cover story featuring a smiling Obama family, "Michelle: Why Barack Loves Her," it's understandable why pundits claim bias. While idealists might suggest otherwise, the concept of an unbiased media is simply impossible.

I encounter media professionals on a daily basis that clearly have an agenda set before they begin researching a story. This may be shaped by their background, a pushy editor or producer, or closely held prejudices. The impact of this discrimination cannot be understated. Media bias influences our politics, moves stock prices and makes markets, ruins and builds lives, and destroys marriages. Sometimes this is the illumination of the truth from honest, hard-hitting journalism. But often times it's because of ideological reporters bent on an agenda they have defined or an issue they have self manufactured.

For this reason, we counsel clients involved in controversial issues or politics that the media is not always your friend, and proceed with caution. With certain clients not regarded as mainstream by the American media, whether Russian oligarchs, or Christian evangelicals who we have represented, we have on occasion with certain media outlets found it simply impossible to get a fair shake in the media because of extreme partiality and foregone conclusions. We were forced to approach the media in the same way we would approach a hostile government investigation. When in the midst of a crisis, you wouldn't speak to the police without an attorney, and you shouldn't speak to the media without a PR professional by your side. This is an example of bias at its extreme, and perhaps yesterday's US Weekly column and the attention it's receiving is also extreme. But is it shocking?

Anonymous said...

Tom Bosley, "face the facts", I love to take both sides of the issue at the same time.

Anonymous said...

UOJ is joined at the hip with George Bush with the same with us or against us doctrine.

Anonymous said...

UOJ tries to copy our mantra of "change".

Vote for us and we'll get rid of Margo & Belsky, but don't bug us if we don't keep our election platform promises.

Anonymous said...

It's a good thing I finally got a haircut for the first time in 10 years or I'd still be the butt of these bad hair jokes too!

Anonymous said...

Vote for me and I'll hunt down molesters with UOJ.

Anonymous said...

Even we can't help Gil Student.

Anonymous said...

Sarah, you'd better learn what the UOJ-Bush Doctrine is first.

Anonymous said...

Does anyone know why Sarah Palin refuses to go hunting with me?

Anonymous said...

The Democrats are in town trying to dig up dirt about Palin, especially on "Troopergate".

Did you know that the ex-trooper used a stun gun on his own 5 year old boy? And to think the dumb Democrats think they can villify Palin for having him fired.

Anonymous said...

Ahh reckon that molesters will help Obama win the election rather "handily".

Anonymous said...

http://www.baldrus.com/

Leo, we should get you on this website.

Anonymous said...

No deal! Dis is my final offer!